In my Google Keep notes, I save words I love. Words I love the sound of, new words, and words I want to use. The word Monochopsis is the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place. It is the perfect descriptor for several seasons of my life. I see belonging as a comfort but not always a necessity.
Author and podcaster Christy Pulfroy defines a “placemaker” as someone who makes their place even if you know you will only be there a short time. She started me thinking of the gifts that place gives us. I suppose in the grand scheme of things everything is temporary.
I feel I am in temporary spaces most of the time and I am always waiting for the next thing. This idea isn’t all bad but can lead to frustration sometimes. I believe this is why I write about characters who are lost and are searching for something most times.
My place today is where I am. I need to be the gift and receive the gifts in this space. I need to be present today no matter how tired I am. The potential for knowledge and connection is great and I need to recognize that fact. When I run, I need to pay attention to how I feel and the nature surrounding me. Moving forward, when I am connecting with the two new staffs I am working with this fall I need to be all in and not concerned with how many years I will be at these schools. When I talk to people I need to listen to what they are saying, not in some other place in my head. In my writing, the truth needs to prevail, always.
What words do you save? What place do you spend your time in?
Tammy Breitweiser is a writer and teacher who is a force of nature and woman of honor; seer of nuance; accidental inspirationalist; keeper of the little red doors, and conjurer of everyday magic who is busy writing short stories. A future Minnesotan temporarily hiding in Indiana, her poetry has been published in The Storyteller Magazine and her flash fiction in The Ninja Writers Monthly and Elephant Never. Her essay is published in the I Wrote it Anyway anthology. You can also connect with Tammy through Twitter @TLBREIT.