Fun Blessings for the Jewish New Year

It’s that time of year again in Israel. When all Jews get ready to celebrate the start of the new Jewish year — whether you’re secular or religious or somewhere in between. For me, it’s mainly about being with family and having a few days break from our regular routine. This year especially, it’s also a time for new beginnings as I left my “day job” as a marketing writer and decided to focus all my energies on One Day and writing a book I started a while ago. Wish me luck!

It’s also a time when you get inundated with tons of Whatsapp messages wishing you a happy new year. Yesterday I received a recorded message with lots of cool and quirky wishes that I really loved. So I decided to write one of my own.

By the way, these are for everyone even if you’re not celebrating Rosh Hashana (the Jewish New Year).

I wish…

I wish that you always have enough teaspoons.

I wish that you never run out of clothes pegs when you’re hanging up washing.

I wish that there is always toilet paper in the bathroom (especially after a number 2).

I wish that you never run out of hot water in the middle of a shower.

I wish that you only get a puncture in good weather and not with kids in the car.

I wish that you only take a wrong turn when you have some spare time on your hands.

I wish that your children don’t eat chocolate next to you when you’re wearing white.

I wish that you don’t leave your car lights on for a full night.

I wish that if you forget to lock a rented car overseas and leave the keys in the car (true story…), no one will notice and the car will be there when you come back.

I wish that when things go wrong (and they will), the timing will at least be ok.

I wish that you don’t hit your baby toe on the edge of a couch or bed or chair (also true story…) and if you do, that it’s summer and you don’t need to wear closed shoes for a while.

I wish that you always remember the amazing ideas you have in the shower, the toilet, before you fall asleep, when you drive, etc.

I wish that when you drop your phone for the umpteenth time, it doesn’t break.

I wish that you are able to fall asleep easily every night and wake up easily every morning.

I wish that you are able to write it the way you’re thinking it (for all those writers and bloggers out there).

I wish that you have the patience to answer most of your children’s questions.

I wish that when you debate to take an umbrella with you or not, you just take the umbrella.

I wish that your kids finally realize that napping (and sleeping in general) is actually really fun!

I wish that you’ll always find a parking spot when you need to.

I wish that turning your computer (or any device) off and on again really helps to solve the problem.

I wish that your flight is never delayed and that you always (or often) have an empty seat next to you.

I wish that at least someone in your household knows how to fold a fitted sheet.

I wish that your Waze (or GPS) never goes wonky exactly when you really need it.

I wish that you never feel the terror of a blue screen on your computer.

I wish that your child automatically calls your partner to help him/her wipe.

I wish that your child automatically calls your partner during the night.

I wish that you never have something stuck in your teeth in public and no one tells you.

I wish that it doesn’t rain after you just finished hanging up the washing.

And now on a more serious note:

I wish that even when things are tough, you know they will get better.

I wish that you put yourselves in other’s shoes and realize that we all have issues.

I wish that you stop being scared and go after what you really want.

I wish that you learn to tune out all the noise around you and focus on what really matters.

I wish that you speak up about the things that bother you and are thankful for the things you love.

I wish you the ability to find inspiration in the little things around you.

I wish that you practice kindness, tolerance, and acceptance of the people around you.

I wish that you teach your children to practice kindness, tolerance, and acceptance of the people around them.

I wish that you smile more than you frown.

I wish you the ability to explore and learn and experience new things.

I wish that you find the time to take a break and enjoy life.

I wish you a wonderful, funny, self-fulfilling, fantasmagorical year!


Originally published at one-day.life on September 6, 2018.

One Day in the life of women - by Tammy Bronfen

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One Day is a blog about a day in the life of different and diverse women from around the world. It came out of my fascination for the ordinary and the magical.

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