Fun Blessings for the Jewish New Year

It’s that time of year again in Israel. When all Jews get ready to celebrate the start of the new Jewish year — whether you’re secular or religious or somewhere in between. For me, it’s mainly about being with family and having a few days break from our regular routine. This year especially, it’s also a time for new beginnings as I left my “day job” as a marketing writer and decided to focus all my energies on One Day and writing a book I started a while ago. Wish me luck!
It’s also a time when you get inundated with tons of Whatsapp messages wishing you a happy new year. Yesterday I received a recorded message with lots of cool and quirky wishes that I really loved. So I decided to write one of my own.
By the way, these are for everyone even if you’re not celebrating Rosh Hashana (the Jewish New Year).
I wish…
I wish that you always have enough teaspoons.
I wish that you never run out of clothes pegs when you’re hanging up washing.
I wish that there is always toilet paper in the bathroom (especially after a number 2).
I wish that you never run out of hot water in the middle of a shower.
I wish that you only get a puncture in good weather and not with kids in the car.
I wish that you only take a wrong turn when you have some spare time on your hands.
I wish that your children don’t eat chocolate next to you when you’re wearing white.
I wish that you don’t leave your car lights on for a full night.
I wish that if you forget to lock a rented car overseas and leave the keys in the car (true story…), no one will notice and the car will be there when you come back.
I wish that when things go wrong (and they will), the timing will at least be ok.
I wish that you don’t hit your baby toe on the edge of a couch or bed or chair (also true story…) and if you do, that it’s summer and you don’t need to wear closed shoes for a while.
I wish that you always remember the amazing ideas you have in the shower, the toilet, before you fall asleep, when you drive, etc.
I wish that when you drop your phone for the umpteenth time, it doesn’t break.
I wish that you are able to fall asleep easily every night and wake up easily every morning.
I wish that you are able to write it the way you’re thinking it (for all those writers and bloggers out there).
I wish that you have the patience to answer most of your children’s questions.
I wish that when you debate to take an umbrella with you or not, you just take the umbrella.
I wish that your kids finally realize that napping (and sleeping in general) is actually really fun!
I wish that you’ll always find a parking spot when you need to.
I wish that turning your computer (or any device) off and on again really helps to solve the problem.
I wish that your flight is never delayed and that you always (or often) have an empty seat next to you.
I wish that at least someone in your household knows how to fold a fitted sheet.
I wish that your Waze (or GPS) never goes wonky exactly when you really need it.
I wish that you never feel the terror of a blue screen on your computer.
I wish that your child automatically calls your partner to help him/her wipe.
I wish that your child automatically calls your partner during the night.
I wish that you never have something stuck in your teeth in public and no one tells you.
I wish that it doesn’t rain after you just finished hanging up the washing.
And now on a more serious note:
I wish that even when things are tough, you know they will get better.
I wish that you put yourselves in other’s shoes and realize that we all have issues.
I wish that you stop being scared and go after what you really want.
I wish that you learn to tune out all the noise around you and focus on what really matters.
I wish that you speak up about the things that bother you and are thankful for the things you love.
I wish you the ability to find inspiration in the little things around you.
I wish that you practice kindness, tolerance, and acceptance of the people around you.
I wish that you teach your children to practice kindness, tolerance, and acceptance of the people around them.
I wish that you smile more than you frown.
I wish you the ability to explore and learn and experience new things.
I wish that you find the time to take a break and enjoy life.
I wish you a wonderful, funny, self-fulfilling, fantasmagorical year!

Originally published at one-day.life on September 6, 2018.
