PRESS ON…

Every girl…well almost every girl dreams of becoming a bride to the most handsome groom she has ever laid eyes on. That was my dream anyway. I always would dream of being a part of a functional family. Notice how I said functional and not perfect. Even though I seen functional families and I thought they were perfect. When you come from a dysfunctional family and you begin to dream up the perfect functional families. Even the most functional families make mistakes. We can mislead ourselves down a wrong path by thinking functional families don’t make mistakes.

It was the summer I had just turned 20 years old. I had been seeing this cute bartender. I had day dreams about our future together. The following September of that summer. I done something that I never thought I would do or could do. At the time, I really knew it was the time to leave home. I packed up my bedroom of my mother’s house and I moved in with my boyfriend. I was scared but I felt safe. Probably the first time I had felt safe in a really long time. I wouldn’t say we started out like most “functional” love stories.

As years past of me taking that big plunge of moving out of my mother’s house. I really didn’t dream as much as being a part of a functional family as much as I knew I felt safe living out of my mother’s house and living with my boyfriend. There were a few years that went by. Eight years to be exact. We knew we had to change from living together in sin to becoming one in Christ. I have told my husband that us being married and becoming one has not made us perfect but has made us whole.

We have two boys that has taught us more about not just being functional, but functional in Christ. I wouldn’t say we have always been the “functional” family on the block, but I would say we have came along ways from the way it was in our childhood. The reason I can tell you that with boldness is because our oldest is going to graduate high school soon and our youngest will be a Sophomore. Them two boys have helped me to press on when I felt nothing and no reason to press on. My loving husband always encourages me to be better than what I was yesterday.

As I have took glances back at the past and where I am today. I know that God is the only reason why I could be here today. I know when my oldest son walks across that stage to receive his high school diploma. I think, but I know I won’t be the happiest mom there watching our seniors graduate. Because there are a few of them mom’s that has helped me be the mom I am today. Everyone can teach you something if you are willing to learn. Not everyone knows they are even teaching. Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.

I had to grow up at a young age. I lost my daddy when I was young. I was abused by my mother’s second husband and a few of her boyfriends she had after she divorced. It wasn’t always easy for me to invite friends over because I was ashamed of how I was treated and the way my mother acted.

I know I have embarrassed my boys in front of their friends. There is no comparison of how my mother embarrassed me growing up. I sometimes think I should explain that to my boys. The boys and my husband and I have a very strong security with each other. I just think the past should stay in the past.

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