Some Take The High Road…Some Take The Low Road…
When you are a child you think about being an adult in a childlike thoughts. Sometimes thinking about your childhood with the wisdom you have as an adult can just be overwhelming. But also rewarding to actually see the Hand of God guiding you through life.
Some remember having a great childhood. Some are thankful they survived their childhood. Usually when adults has had the great childhoods they talk about their childhood memories with smiles. The adults that survived their childhood usually are grateful to become an responsible adults sometimes with tears.
When I grew up in a divorced home. I lost my Daddy at an early age. I became an adult in my childhood. Becoming an adult in your childhood makes you miss out on much childhood memories you could of made.
I have always wanted to be everyone’s friend. I tried to see the good in everyone. I also look back on some occasions that I just thank God for His Grace. There was one particular night I remember. Some of my friends came to my bedroom window and helped me sneak out. They told me it was their family car. We go for a ride in their family car. It ran out of gas in what seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. I begin to realize that may not of been their “family car.” Then all of a sudden one of my friends come back in another car to take us home. That is when I discovered I was part of auto theft. The boy I was friends with later went to prison having the most highest rate of car theft. I never intended to be friends with someone who thought they could run for President of the United States. Ha!
I think we all think there is good in every person. We all long for friendships. I also think we can’t be friends with everyone. Being from a divorced and broken family and losing my Dad at an early age. I thought being nice to my friends meant let them do whatever and I shouldn’t say anything to them was the good thing to do. I have also learned over time being truthful to everyone means you stand alone a lot.
When I first discovered that my truthfulness was actually showing me who my true friends were…my circle of friends became very small. I thought there was something wrong with me at first. As I have experienced the journey of truthfulness it is good to have a small group of friends than a large group. The maintenance is less and the ability to making everyone happy is minimal.
Do I believe I am doing what God has called me to do? Do I believe I mess up on a regular basis? Those questions has always haunted me. I believe I can say yes to those questions confidently as I have been working out my salvation to His Glory. I know I have messed up and still do mess up. I have a unexplainable peace that I never knew before. I am a Child of God and He loves me just as I am. I know He is working through me and for me.
Putting yourself on the mercy of others can be very disappointing. People will always let you down in one way or another. Growing up with a parent that never loved herself. Losing your other parent to death. There was really no one to turn to. I actually see God graciously pouring out His love as I look back now. I also am one of those people that can’t stand to look over the ledge and try to help someone up on the ledge for a lengthy time. I have slipped a few times. Some may say that is weakness. I say it is good for the broken soul to heal with healthy boundaries.