A new way

Tammy Davidson
Sep 5, 2018 · 2 min read

This week is Body Image and Eating Disorders Week and my Instagram feed has slowly started to fill with the images, letters to selves and hashtags that are collecting the thousands of voices that need to be heard, voices that are crying out for change, that are making a statement, that are spreading the love, acceptance and worthiness of self and of others. (#morethanmybody, #lovemybody, #lovemybodyweek)

Little over three months ago now I penned a public declaration of my own, one that saw the need for change in my own life and heart. One that acknowledged the hurt, the harmful thoughts, the guilt, the hate, the shame and the heartache that came from three decades of living with body image issues. A declaration that was determined to find another way to live. A kinder way that would allow me to fully embrace whole-hearted living.

Since writing last I have read, researched, listened, written, sung and prayed. I am really fucking excited to say, I did find something new and I’ve chosen to follow it. I threw out the bathroom scales, I told my PT I was no longer getting measured, I stopped tracking and counting calories or macronutrients (via an app or just in my head), I am working at understanding that food is fuel for my mind and body rather than the enemy, I am choosing exercise that I enjoy rather than that which inflicts the highest amount of punishment for my engagements with said enemy.

I have done all of these things, and I did not die (there is no fun being made in this), my friends and family have not stopped loving me, I have not stopped going on dates or having sex, I have not stopped loving the beach, or being good at my job. BUT my life has changed. I have changed. I have looked in the mirror for the first time and not seen just my body reflecting back at me, but my self. A woman, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover, a magical, purple-haired unicorn that is worthy. Not worthy of just anything, but she is worthy of MY love. And I have realised more and more in these last years of my life, I cannot love or give to those in my life from an empty cup.

I’m not all the way there yet, in fact I’m not even sure there is a final destination, but I know this way I’m going is better for me. It takes bravery and guts, there are still tears, but it is kinder, more compassionate, more understanding, and filled to the brim with the possibilities of love.

Join me?

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