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Jewels, that is such an awful story. I’m so sorry, for your brother, for your family, for you.

It is never a consolation, but in the same vein as Mark Kolke and alto’s replies: the very fact that you experience doubt and guilt, that you go over it in your mind again and again, that you regret not being there—that all says you are a good person who made a questionable decision with a terrible outcome, an outcome way out of proportion to anything you could’ve imagined as a repercussion of your decision.

My warmest thoughts to you.

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