Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Sean Michael Keith. I wrote this poem because I was saddened by the way some people are never satisfied. They’re always chasing someone better, forgetting that better is often something we can find within ourselves and within our relationships.
I don’t know why human beings expect our relationships to be perfect and unflawed when we, ourselves, are full of flaws and still perfect. There is an art to building relationships that allow space for us to grow as individuals even while we grow together, and the foundation is surely accepting that none of us are perfect.
One of my friends recently came out of an ‘amazing relationship’ and lamented that she’d never find someone else like her ex. I reminded her that her ex wasn’t what made it amazing. It was her willingness to love, the effort she put into the relationship, the belief she gave it, the love she invested. I reminded her that, when the time was right, she could put all that energy into another relationship and it, too, would be amazing. I think sometimes we forget that while we don’t choose who we love, we do choose how. (I wrote a song about that.)
It sounds like you and your wife have figured this out; I’m glad my poem brought up some nostalgic feelings for you.
You may enjoy this story by Lauren Ramesbottom:
[Originally posted as an answer on Quora]medium.com
In it, she discusses how, while she loves her independence, she recognises that the the longer she waits to find a life partner, the harder it will be to find someone who fits into the life she’s built. Like you, she’s not advocating arranged marriages, but she’s recognising that same key benefit:
And yet, I am aware that my choice to settle down later robs me of my chance to experience those trials of early adulthood as a bonding experience with a partner. I am not learning to build a life with and alongside another, but instead learning to build my own life.