MY 6:00AM WISH

‪I used to rush home at six in the morning, afraid my mom would learn that I spent the night at your place again. As quietly as I can, I open the gate and sneak into my room like a burglar trespassing into my own home. It’s all in the past now but the early morning breeze never fails to remind me of what I used to have. Of what we used to have.‬

Now, I spend my sleepless mornings sitting in the garage — staring at the skies as I enjoy a good cup of hot chocolate while thoughts of our time together fill my mind. ‬

‪I first learned how to make hot chocolate out of cocoa tablets with you. I loved it and I knew you loved it too when I saw your smile that day — it was sweeter than the drink we cherished. Here I go again, associating you with the little things. Probably because these trivial details made up most of our relationship. We were not into anything grand, we leaned more on living every waking day with each other. From early mornings, to cooking all the meals consisting the day, to sleeping next to each other. ‬

Ah, the thought of closing my eyes as I rest my head atop your chest is definitely the most bittersweet memory I habitually choose to vividly reminisce. ‬

I always had difficulty in falling asleep at night, but next to you — it was the easiest thing. I know it’s because I always felt at peace in your company, like everything in my life was in place. I wish things would stay that way but my prayers are not capable of tailoring the future. It was too perfect. We were too perfect. ‬

‪I know I would eventually need to learn how to sleep alone. Live alone. Breathe alone. I had a hunch that my time with you was a glimpse of the life I will have soon. Albeit, it was not a life I was destined to live for now. We were too young to enjoy the marvels of life. We still needed to grow from despair.‬

‪Although I wish, I fervently wish, we did not have to part ways. Yet, I am in no position to decide. ‬