So you think you have it figured out, huh?
You don’t. I’m just going to be honest. Things might be in tip top shape in your eyes right now, but sooner or later life is going to happen and that spectacular picture is going to have to be reassembled again. But it’s ok, it happens and it’s a part of this cycle we call life. So I wanted to talk about a few things; goals, expectations, and what to do when things don’t work out.
- Goals: we all have them because we were taught that achieving goals directly correlates to success. Yes, it feels amazing to complete goals and feel successful, but ask yourself how many goals you haven’t completed and how those uncompleted goals made you feel. They might be as small as going for a run each day and you might not feel the pressure after skipping a few runs, but those few runs turn into a marathon training plan and all of a sudden it’s marathon day and you’re not prepared. Then what? Or that time 20 year old you said that by 28 you’d own your own place, be in a director role, have a dog named fluffy, have a dope side gig plus be in the best shape of your life, damn, you signed up for a lot there… good luck sleeping. Goals are important to set, but they should not be concrete nor should they run you to the ground in an attempt to reach them. Set goals that are more fluid and have room for change and growth because life is inevitably changing and you’re growing in the process. Setting smaller short term goals while maintaining an ‘idea’ of what the future of that goal might look like will help you stay on track. Plus, you’re less likely to loose your mind.
- Expectations: We’re all hard on ourselves, it’s in our nature, but don’t stress yourself out over things not going right. When you set huge goals, the expectations you must reach in order to achieve those goals goes up. Placing high expectations on yourself causes unneeded and unwanted stress. You can’t control everything. Instead of focusing all of your energy on reaching these unrealistic expectations of yourself, focus on the things you have achieved and how much you’ve learned or have grown. Because eventually performing at 120% all the time will cause you to burn out. And when you’re burnt out you’re most likely going to be further away from that goal.
- What to do: Breathe. Take a step back, and reevaluate your goals. Ask yourself if they’re realistic, and if that timeframe is fair for you to achieve those goals. Think about how these goals can change going forward and be open and welcome that change. Get out of your own head and write down what you have achieved.
All to often I meet people who tell me that they never stop to take a break. I get it because I was there once too. It’s hard to focus on so many things at once, and at the end of the day, if you’re not mentally ok, it’s going to affect the rest of your life. Take the time you need to be the best you, I swear it’ll be easier to reach your goals when you’re grounded, have a clear mind, and you’re not stressed out.
Remember, no one had it ‘figured out’, everyone is constantly learning and growing.