You told a lot of people that it was okay, that you were fine, that you were doing well. You even told yourself the same thing and actually believed it, until the inevitable cold evening started to envelope you and bared you with the sad and weakening truth. That it’s not. That you are not. That you are just wandering with no direction, trying to make light from the excuses you made yourself to believe — that there is someplace to go through your aimless, directionless steps. You stepped back, left, stepped right, but never a little forward.
You were lost. Are. You are lost.
And yet you continue to lie. You continue the denial. You kept on believing the lies you were feeding yourself until it became more of the truth than what it really is. But it was okay. It was. A day or two of lies were okay. But weeks. Months.
So, today, you are to make yourself believe that you can slowly, carefully, (hopefully) get out from the confines of pretense and made-up excuses you unconsciously-hardworked for yourself — by honestly walking-through every feeling, or understanding, or the not-feeling, or the not-understanding. Of the knowing and the not-knowing.
Then, eventually, you’re gonna break from it and be able to set course to where you really wanted to be.
So, Hello World.