Realising that Being Small Limits Dreams, Decisions, and My Life.
The past me used to think that I like people to make decisions for me. Tell me what I should do. Plan surprises for me (and then I get disappointed when the surprises didn’t meet my standards). I once believed I enjoyed being treated like a small girl to be protected. Be that little woman within, perfectly in line with the petite 5ft. frame I am on the outside.
I cannot be more wrong.
After long enough, I realised I’m not that “little woman” and I definitely don’t appreciate being treated like one.
I don’t like plans being made on my behalf.
I don’t like being told what to do or which way to walk. I have a mind of my own, thank you.
I don’t like to be told I cannot do something, because I know deep down inside whether I can or cannot, and I don’t need anyone’s approval.
I don’t like to constantly feel obligated to someone — anyone.
I don’t like to be emotionally blackmailed into doing something against my will.
I don’t like being manipulated or treated like I’ll never know better.
I actually enjoy and relish time to myself.
I actually still have many interests to pursue.
I actually know what I want in my life, even if it may be very different from what you want. In fact, I know even better what I do not want.
Thank you to my special friend for telling me straight up that I’m actually strong-willed and a distinct character, and for asking why I would want to become a different person just to fit into someone else’s perception of who I should be.
And I know I will never blossom being a puppet. I wasn’t meant to be handled that way.
When these realisations finally kicked in, some doors in my world closed. People can get fearful of what they can’t understand or predict. They can also get afraid of others’ strengths. The doors closed but it’s alright, not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. I also learned that a real friend will encourage your growth and never attempt to pin your wings down.
My world opened up to one that is no longer restricted by limitations and closed ways of thought.
I am in anticipation of the new things I will be learning and new adventures I will be having.