what would I do if I weren’t afraid?
оскільки, після торішнього тотального фейлу із bookchallenge_ua, цього року я собі дала установку читати принаймні 5 книжок щомісяця, то ось читаю. з календаря підморгує травень, як підступний дедлайн, а я лиш ледь-ледь завершую перше читання. втім свого амбітного прагнення не лишаю
почавши цю книгу — а саме розтиражовану ‘Lean In’ Sheryl Sandberg, про яку не писав хіба що ледащий, я була налаштована вкрай скептично. історія про дівчинку, яка народилась в Америці у єврейській сім’ї, вступила до Гарвардскього університету і потерпала від своєї амбітності і невпененості водночас, та жорстокого men’s world
втім, оскільки вчитись намагаюсь у всих, у кого є чому повчитись, навіть у тих, чиїх вєроісповєданій не розділяю, тож, від сторінки до сторінки, коли розповідь поринула у кар’єру, сім’ю, балансування між усим розмаїттям сфер життя і намагання скрізь бути перфект, я все ж таки знайшла і визнала чимало справедливих думок, філософій і поглядів. ділюсь ними — думками, які зазвичай виділяєш у конспекті маркером, як основне. звісно, основне в першу чергу для самої себе. читала в оригіналі, тому конспект рідною мовою:
- There is a saying, «Think globally, act locally.» When negotiating, «Think personally, act communally.»
- Ask yourself: What would I do if I weren’t afraid? And then go do it.
- Just being nice is not a winning strategy. Nice sends a message that the woman is willing to sacrifice pay to be liked by others. That’s why a woman needs to combine niceness with insistence, a style that Mary Sue Coleman, president of the University of Michigan, calls «relentlessly pleasant.» This method requires smiling frequently, expressing appreciation and concern, invoking common interests, emphasizing larger goals, and approaching the negotiation as solving a problem as opposed to taking a critical stance.
- When you want to change things, you can’t please everyone. If you do please everyone, you aren’t making enough progress.
- The [planning approach] requires both focus and flexibility, so I recommend adopting two concurrent goals: a long-term dream and an 18-month plan.
- Only one criterion matters when picking a job — fast growth.
- How can I do better? What am I doing that I don’t know? What am I not doing that I don’t see? These questions can lead to many benefits. And believe me, the truth hurts.
- Sharing emotions builds deeper relationships. Motivation comes from working on things we care about. It also comes from working with people we care about.
- She now refers to herself as a «career-loving parent,» a nice alternative to «working mom.»
- Sharing responsibility should mean sharing responsibility. Each partner needs to be in charge of specific activities or it becomes too easy for one to feel like he’s doing a favor instead of doing his part.
- Studies from around the world have concluded that children benefit greatly from paternal involvement. Research over the last forty years has consistently found that in comparison to children with less involved fathers, children with involved and loving fathers have higher levels of psychological well-being and better cognitive abilities.
- When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them.
- One of the reasons Dave is a true partner is because he grew up in a home where his father set an extraordinary example. A law professor, Mel [his father] often taught classes at night. Since he wanted the family to have at least one meal together each day, he decided it would be breakfast and prepared the meal himself, complete with fresh-squeezed orange juice.
- Like me, most of the women I know do a great job worrying that we don’t measure up. We compare our efforts at work to those of our colleagues, usually men, who typically have far fewer responsibilities at home. Then we compare our efforts at home to those of mothers who dedicate themselves solely to their families. Outside observers reminding us that we must struggling — and failing — is just bitter icing on an already soggy cake.
- Done is better than perfect.
- It was our responsibility to draw the line. We needed to determine how many hours we were willing to work in a day and how many nights we were willing to travel.If later on, the job did not work out, we would know that we had tried on our own terms.
- «There is too much pressure on you and your peers. It’s not compatible with a normal life.»But this is the new normal for many of us.
- Parental behavioral factors — including fathers who are responsive and positive, mothers who favor «self-directed child behavior,» and parents with emotional intimacy in their marriages — influence a child’s development two or three times more than any form of child care.
- The right question is not «Can I do it all?» but «Can I do what’s most important for me and my family?»
- «Whoever has power takes over the noun — and the norm — while the less powerful get an adjective».
- Major changes can result from [these] kind of «nudge techniques,» small interventions that encourage people to behave in slightly different ways at critical moments.
- All of us, myself included, are biased, whether we admit it or not. And thinking that we are objective can actually make this even worse, creating what social scientists call a bias blind spot. This blind spot causes people to be too confident about their own powers of objectivity.
- Every job will demand some sacrifice. The key is to avoid unnecessary sacrifice.
- Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.
- We all want the same thing: to feel comfortable with our choices and to feel validated by those around us.