Some thoughts on how to handle a female
Girls are weird creatures. The root cause of all weirdness is the fact that girls can give birth. And even if she doesn’t want to, nature wants her to.
Text in Russian here.
Part of this nature is Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), which grows an egg. While it’s working, the life of a girl is wonderful. She has a good appetite, as anabolics speed up metabolism, she’s full of joy, active, happy about everything, goes on dates. Usually she doesn’t really pay attention, but if nothing major external upsets her, she lives as if in anticipation of a holiday.
The holiday, which is conception.
Then the 14th day (roughly) comes, ovulation day — grande ball, but conception doesn’t happen and sorrow kicks in. Mourning over the dead egg. This begins the Catabolic stage of metabolism, causing low appetite, you eat only little bits of comfort food, can’t force yourself to workout, feeling pity for yourself, wanting to cry. The world seems sad, she can’t smile, all men are assholes. But menstruation clears up everything and FSH starts the job again.
Of course I describe a simplified version, the impact strength differs for different girls, and some external factors affect these things. But many people have no idea of what’s going on and these things need to be considered.
If you’re a guy, and a girl starts crying rivers all of sudden, don’t think she’s a hysterical bitch. She really feels terrible right now, unconsciously, and she can’t do anything about it. It is better to plan all sorts of romantic weekends and important dates during the first two weeks after period, when she’s joyful and energetic.
And the other two weeks you should let her be alone, be careful and gentle with her, and try not to make jokes about her looks or movie choices. Because even if she looks calm, she’s walking on thin ice, and can break down in tears at any moment.
If you’re a guy and you’re looking for a girlfriend (oh, well, it’s Australia, no-one is looking for a girlfriend, just for some quick sex). Anyway, ask her out when her period is over and it’s not ovulation yet. Sounds terribly impractical, but if you have a way to guess, you’ll get a better chance to impress her. Or if on the first date she seemed upset and bored, don’t give up, try to ask her out in a couple of weeks, sending her sweet messages in between.
If you’re a girl, surely you’ll figure out by yourself how to behave. But here’s a couple of notes. When you feel down, you should understand that it’s temporary, life is not shit, it will pass, and you need to wait till FSH kicks in. You can also somewhat fix this by doing things that give you energy, read a good book, draw, play some music, do whatever you do to feel good. Often it’s hard to do even that, but try.
Important interviews, important dates, trips to Paris, parties should be planned for the first two weeks of cycle. Not all, of course, you can still go out if you feel like it, but if it’s the “last chance to …”, better to postpone.
My understanding of these processes really helped me survive when it got really rough. I convinced myself to wait (and not to jump off the bridge in London. By the time I got to Edinburgh and found a perfect rock, happiness kicked in).
But then a question rose up. Who am I? Am I an awesome fun interesting girl, who sometimes gets unconsciously upset because of a missed pregnancy chance, or am I a grumpy hysterical bitch who sometimes under the influence of FSH gets a bit high and can have fun and do great things?
