Risk…. Fear… Yeah, that stuff.

I began to obsess on this notion of fear as a deterrent to the things we actually truly want in life. I just felt like this made “no damn sense.” “Why should I be afraid of something that I want??!!” I recognized this defiant cry from the “yes I’m older now, but still have spunk” region of my brain. But I often felt that I am too consumed by “knowledge” ruminations, mulling and over-thinking to really discover, through action, what my heart had truly desired.

When I was teenager it was much easier to do radical, crazy or risking things like rock climbing for the first time or auditioning for the high school jazz band when I hadn’t picked up my tenor saxophone in at least two years. I even went to a border town in Mexico with friends for 10 days and didn’t tell my parents. Fearless. Crazy but fearless.

Similarly, my grandfather was 17-years-old when he began his journey to Panama to work on the Panama Canal (He walked with his brothers. I’ll share that story at another time.) When I asked him if he was afraid, he said he had “no time for fear.” I pressed him.

“Grandpa, you were walking into a jungle. That was risky; you didn’t know what was out there!”

He said (insert Caribbean accent), “I didn’t know what was ‘dere. So why fret? When I got ‘dere and ‘dere was somethin’ to be fearful of, I just dealt with it, then. No need to waste time worryin’.”

So wise, and yet, easier said than done, Grandpa.

Do a little exercise: Boo! Fear! (Just for a second.)

List the top three things you feel are holding you back from something you want to achieve at this moment. Real or imagined, silly or serious. Go with your gut.

1.

2.

3.

Good job. I know talking about the fears is tough. It is. My favorite “go to fear” is that I’m going to be impoverished, living on the streets and have to take up prostitution to make ends meet. Yes, this has happened to some people, I do not want to make light of it given our current economic situation in the United States and other regions of the world. However, there is nothing in my present circumstances that would even suggest that this is the trajectory between today and tomorrow. Review your list. Even if it might come true, is acting on your current goal going to speed up a fear?Should it deter you from the steps of work that needs to get done? With a few exceptions the answer should be most likely not, because…..

Clarity comes from engagement, not thought. — Marie Forleo

I love this quote. It’s also used an improvisational theater mantra a la Keith Johnstone who created Theatresports in Canada. For example, when you’re in an acting scene, you don’t have time to think, you just have to do something so that the scene can move forward. Or for you fitness enthusiasts, Nike’s Just Do It should resonate with you.

Again, easier said than done especially if you have responsibilities, family, children, and bills. And now that I’m a “mature” adult (or mostly mature), there are these “consequences” I feared I couldn’t shake.

But wait, why can’t I shake them if I “know so much”?

I talked to a friend who is a psychologist about this and he explained that as we get older our natural growth hormone releasing and hormone-inhibiting secretions that are produced by the pituitary gland, decreases. (Yep, I’m going all scientific on you, hang with me….this is important.) Growth hormones are often talked about in terms of anti-aging, weight gain, muscle tone, etc. However, this gland that produces these hormones, which is regulated by the hypothalamus, is also responsible for the metabolic processes and other activities in our nervous system. This very busy gland also controls our motivated behaviors.[1]

Now, there is a ton of research on what motivates us from a psychological perspective, whether it is incentive, arousal, self-actualization — (a great article in Psychology Today, breaks it down.

BUT as we age, we biologically become more risk averse because we are producing less of the growth hormone that stimulates this area of the brain.

So basically, those fears we are feeling in our body when we desire to take risk are real. They are not something “in our heads” theoretically, but fear is actually coursing through our veins.

Are you having a panic attack just reading this? Try not to. Hang on!

For me, this information was a breakthrough, because it gave me additional perspective to accept that I am no longer biologically processing or making decisions at the speed of my youth. And while I do not appreciate how my biology is actually engaging gravity to work against boobs, I can appreciate the tempo at which I engage with risk these days. Now I had the wisdom to become more proactive, and strategize how to create the change I want in my life. I realized changes aren’t going to happen the same way they used to (which was “easy” by my youthful estimation).

· Risk is inherent in all new things, and

· Risk is dealing with the unknown.

Buuuuuut deciding to deal with risk differently is key because the feelings associated with risk — fear, anxiety — would remain but could be handled more effectively if I had a plan.

Clarity comes from engagement, not thought.

(Whew! I know you didn’t think I was going to make it back here.)

In the late Dr. Susan Jeffers’ seminal book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, she mixes the power of positive thinking with exercises for you to examine your psychological fears. Now, this might be a necessary step for you and, by all means, take care of your mental and emotional health.

However, what I’m suggesting (and what Dr. Jeffers gets to in a different way) is: Positively think yourself into a plan and take some action because how you feel about it is ultimately irrelevant until you see the fruits of your labor (or lack thereof, which we’ll deal with this in a section on Challenges).

So all in all, Put your big girl panties on! Strap in, and get to work.

[1] ^ Swanson, L.W. (2000). “Cerebral Hemisphere Regulation of Motivated Behavior”. Brain Research 886: 113–164.

This is an excerpt from a guide I had been working on called Boom! You Are Creative. Email me at tanishachristie@gmail.com if you want to hire me for a consult.