Things better left said

I feel like as I’ve gotten older, my definition of everything has changed. It seems as though my standards for what qualifies as happiness have been going up. I want to change that and I want happiness to be within reach again. I want to have the heart of a little kid, and retain the wisdom of my years simultaneously.

Then and Now

then, stress was me fidgeting restlessly at 1 in the afternoon under my coarse blanket waiting for nap time to end

then, happiness was running around aimlessly through the sprinklers trying to dodge the water but secretly hoping I would get soaked anyways

then, anger was the grand fight that went down when I fought over toys with my cousins

then, fear was the moment of anticipatory silence I felt as I hid behind the closet door hoping my friends wouldn’t find me during our games of hide and seek

then, faith was unshakable and the mind was peaceful

I didn’t hold onto things like I do now.

now, stress is me watching my grade trend plummet on schoolloop while pondering over the upcoming SAT

now, happiness is receiving attention from others and achieving my long term college and career goals

now, anger is the frustration of wishing I had known about someone before they turned their back on me and before I opened up to them

now, fear is test day and the little chat bubble that says “Blank is typing”

now, faith is faltering and my mind is a storm that never clears.