Money Does Not Guarantee Happiness(I Know You Have Heard It Before)
If I ask you- What have you achieved that you are proud of? What would you answer?
I have asked a few people and you know what they have told subconsciously? I am the Senior Manager at HCL, I wrote a book and sold 50k copies, I work three jobs a day and make enough money to not depend on others. The similarity between the answers? Money!
And then what I asked them was- Are you happy?
Among the number of people I have asked the above questions, one was a close friend of mine who is a stand-up comic, had worked for MensXP, lives with his parents and thought life was good. But as I asked him if he was happy, he broke down. Within a moment, I heard- Who is happy, anyway?
‘Happiness is an inside job’ another friend told me one day on a usual call between my office hours. I was suffering from extreme anxiety, overworked, caffeinated and insomniac for the past few days and then one day it just happened. Without any pre-alarms, I found myself crying in the washroom and for obvious reasons, I did not know the reason. That was the day I decided I could not take it anymore. I left work for the day and went back home. He was still on the call. While I vented for two hours about what was wrong in my life, he just answered- ‘It feels stagnant at the moment but trust me it will pass. You find your happiness, not in anybody else but yourself.’
Sitting on my little bed I thought about the connectivity between the two sentences.
These two people are apart from each other. The stand-up comic has everything(professionally) that he wanted. He is following his passion, having a stable job and making extra bucks to follow his ill habits (smoking, drinking, etc). The second one is at a university, does not earn, sometimes asks me for money(I do not mean condescendingly), does have habits and resides in a hostel.
You will ask me what’s the point of mentioning these two people. We were talking about happiness, didn't we?
To answer- ‘Happiness has nothing to do with money’ and I say that even when I do not have a 100$ in my bank account. I am a normal person who writes books, works for a few clients as a freelancer and has a 9–5 job. I mentioned the second part of the sentence because I have heard people saying ‘Be rich so you can say money does not matter when it comes to happiness.’
Here’s proof:
In 2010, Kahneman and Deaton’s study examined the link between income, emotional well-being, and overall life evaluation. Kahneman and Deaton’s study relied on a survey of 450,000 American respondents that contained questions about emotional well-being, life satisfaction, and reported family income. After examining the data, the pair famously concluded that happiness remains basically unchanged once household income exceeds $75,000, though overall life evaluation keeps improving. The key conclusion is that incomes over $75,000 buy life satisfaction, but not happiness. (Source: https://www.givingwhatwecan.org/blog/can-money-buy-happiness)
When I ask that friend studying if he is happy, you will be surprised to know what he said. ‘I am reading, I get to eat what I want(though not most of the time), I have a roof, my dad is healthy, I have a friend like you. I guess I am happy,’ to which I did not answer. Not because I could not, but because I chose not to tarnish his idea of happiness.
I am a 25-year-old who walks into the world with enough grief, anger, and a will to bring change, and I can say I have enough money to book a flight when I am upset but you know what I did not have after all this? Happiness! I am learning to be happy, taking notes from different people, knowing their ways of happiness, snatching my guilt away every day, building confidence and paving the way for success(not just financial). Because somehow time has taught me I am an intelligent one but not the emotionally intelligent one. I need ways to become happy and shovel the bottled emotions away.
Making way for more things to add to your exploration, money is not what you should be chasing. And happiness, per se, does not guarantee money. Somehow, you have to make it an inside job.
