I miss you and I do that often.
But I cannot get to telling you this, because I’m unsure, would you even care.
I remember all our insane conversations about everything under the sun and dreaming together. Chalking out our wishlists and bucketlists and planning on things that didn’t even exist.
While most matters would be of life and death, half of them were irrelevant and baseless, yet we’d discuss them with such intent. I swear, they were the times I wish had never faded away.
We are all so busy with our lives, we can hardly find the time to check onto the other.
Of days that seemed incomplete without us meeting up, today we have forgotten each other’s number and in long phases of time we go through our mobile contacts and try and talk, mostly on occasions and birthdays. We barely know each other now, or maybe we’re the only ones who know each other truly.
You have a lot of friends and I have them too but quite honestly I don’t have anyone to replace you with and I would never want that either.
We have had our share of differences and grudges and confrontations, a lot of that has happened. Happened over times that weren’t in my control or yours and we were both not ready to understand each other. What an irony, understanding was the most quintessential element of our friendship once.
Anyway, to come to terms with the harsh reality is hurtful and sometimes I cry my heart out only to realise we can never have it like before. What hurts me more is that we don’t even want to try.
Because the list is endless and we both have our reasons genuine and excuses made up.
You have changed, so have I. And yet, why do I keep going back to it. Why do I give in to that overwhelming fit of nostalgia. Why???
No, I don't want any answers. I am not even looking for it. But I cannot not seek, for our memories are the same.
Etched within, for life.
I love you and I miss you. I never wanted to lose you. I have issues letting go (mostly of the best times we’ve had) and when I say that I mean it too.
However, I’m happy with my life and am sure you’re happy too. It is such an emotion to see you excel in life and how far you have come. I’m exploring my avenues and this journey is more fun than I thought it’d be. I’m chasing my dreams too and it is beginning to feel like things are falling into place and all is okay.
If only we’d stayed longer and forever. No matter what.
I will always wish well for you and you should know that.