I Pray I Wish I Beseech

Melancholy of my heart 
Never stops
It comes to a halt
But never stops

The rise of pain in my chest
 Fire in my lungs

Inclination towards flames and gloom
Obvious thru my expressions
Makes me ponder the why's and what's

Questions trouble me
Answer drank to oblivion 
Unseen journey ahead intimidates me

I somehow gather my bones
Pray a silent orison
Beseech the universe
 to cease this suffering
 to terminate enduring pain
 to finish..
 Either me or this misery...
 
 ............

I keep on witnessing a sinking feeling, Tunes of melancholia echo in my head. steadfast n refusing to leave unless it breaks me down. Even after pondering for days and sometimes weeks I have no explanation behind my despair. Sadness in its purest and richest form grips me refusing to untangle, consumes my jubilation gradually, bit by bit. Continues to exist even after draining my glee.
It leaves me with ever increasing despondency, never deserting sorrow and hopelessness. perplexities and hallucinations of upcoming failures slowly holds me, stronger second by second, shakes me from head to toe, questions my decisions..and leaves me with a sob... 
I pray for normality if not joy as it feels a lifetime since I hv been normal. 
If not moment of happiness then also not the sudden woe encapsulating me..
The scar deepens everytime my heart breaks into bits and pieces.. I pray to accord me strength to suffer (if that's my fate) the heartache, to grant me courage to gather ,each time, my heart breaks into a thousand puzzled pieces...
I pray, I wish, I beseech....

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