Happy Galentines Day, you magnificent gazelle.
[Author’s note: this is an email I sent to a friend who was working through some health issues. I forwarded it enough that I decided it should live on the internet.]
Listen, you beautiful, fantastic land mermaid, you are GORGEOUS.
THE SIZE THAT YOU ARE RIGHT NOW IS: GORGEOUS.
There’s a physiological reason to believe me. When you feel sad or distressed at what you see on the scale, you’re actually making the situation worse, brain-chemistry-wise. You are helping along increased cortisol production because you are feeling distressed and anxious and that’s what your body produces when you feel that way.
What is cortisol? Cortisol is a motherfucker.
Cortisol is a stress hormone — great for when you need to literally run from a bad situation, shitty when you’re trying to reduce inflammation or lose weight. In fact, sometimes when cortisol levels are high, you might need LESS intense exercise and MORE deep breathing to interrupt your body’s stress reaction because intense exercise also fucks with and increases cortisol production.
You might want to trade a cardio workout for something like tai chi or hatha yoga. Hear me out — those deep breathing exercises tell your parasympathetic nervous system (this crazy network of nerves in your body that turns off the fight-or-flight response) to shut the fuck up. Deep belly breathing tells cortisol to take a fucking seat. I’m not saying this to be all rainbows and good intentions. This is fucking biology.
How else can we hack our brain chemistry? Squash that cycle of sadness: talk back to that negative voice in your head. That negative voice doesn’t pay your rent, so bounce that freeloading fucker out. Whenever you feel anxiety about your weight, write one of these phrases down on paper:
My body is a foxy temple of genius.
I am a blindingly hot mountain lioness.
You are not ready for this sexy goddess jelly.
…or whatever phrase you need to make you laugh and make you feel fierce and bold and gorgeous. Write it at least 10 times. Write them until you laugh. Laughing promotes diaphramatic (deep belly) breathing, which turns on that important nervous system, which helps with weight loss. Look it up. SCIENCE.
I also recommend the Jack Donaghy method. The words you say to yourself can actually change the way you SEE yourself. Look in a mirror and say (caps intentional — you better be practically yelling):
“ I AM LIONESS. I TAKE WHAT’S MINE.”
“I AM A SEXY FEROCIOUS QUEEN BEE”
“I AM A GODDAMN MAGICAL CREATURE.”
Whatever it takes. Just do it. Be like Michael Jordan riding a rainbow unicorn and JUST DO IT.
You have to disrupt the cycle that says “I hate my body” and flip it to one that says “I am a delicious sex vixen.” Keep actively doing this until you stomp out that lying, parasitic negative inner voice. Just stomp it out with the most ridiculous phrases you can think of. Stomp it out like a drag queen clydesdaling her way down a runway. Stomp out that cockroach of self loathing. SEXY. VIXEN. STOMP!
You are worthy of loving yourself and fitting in to a cute dress size of your choosing. But not because the dress size defines you. Because you contain fucking MULTITUDES and those multitudes deserve the very best in life including a cute dress size because *you* have decided you want to be there. See the difference? Notice I said CUTE not SMALLER.
It starts with radically loving that vessel you’re in — that beautiful vehicle made of muscle and bones and sass that contains the awesomeness of you. That body doesn’t contain you, you contain that magnificent body. Get me?
And we need you. Just as you are. Right now.
Tell cortisol and stress and the scale and everything else to fuck off.
We need you, gorgeous.
Happy Galentines Day, my precious, beautiful friend.
❤ ❤ ❤
Encouragement is a radical act of love. Want more radical fucking positivity? Follow me on Facebook or Twitter.
