Day 5: Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands
Get it? Let’s talk about sex. Baby. Let’s talk about all the good things, and the bad things, that may be.
In speaking with others about the whole 30 Days concept, I’ve received the most comments and eye-raises on the discipline of no pornography and masturbation.
“I thought you were married, why do you need that one…”
Right now, the married guys reading this are smirking and shaking their heads, while the single folks are like, “What? What’s the issue here?”
The only places where sex is on-demand and instantly available are illegal…unless you’re in Nevada or some foreign countries. Temptation does not end when you get married, either for pornography or masturbation.
As to the latter, I gotta go back to my man, Stephen Mansfield, and his article, “Men, Do These Things”:
If married, stop masturbating. It’s an excuse not to win your wife. Go win your wife.
On the subject of pornography, I’d wager that if you’re a man, you’ve probably:
- Struggled in the past;
- Struggle now and anticipate struggling in the future;
- Don’t struggle at all because you don’t find anything wrong with it (…but maybe a small part of you wonders…)
Marriage is not a cure-all for your struggles. If you’re struggling with an addiction to pornography and think that you don’t need to worry about it because getting married is a simple fix, then you’re going to bring a lot of hurt and pain into your wife’s life, and do damage to your marriage.
This is not a problem that I’ve carried into my marriage. I’m not bragging, not passing judgment, and I’m definitely not better than you: it’s only because God has given me the power and grace to withstand the temptation to view it. And that is, in large part, due to an organization that I learned about just about 10 years ago.
That organization is called Shared Hope International. Shared Hope is dedicated to bringing an end to sex trafficking. Through Shared Hope, I found The Defenders USA.
The Defenders USA is a group of men who believe that pornography, prostitution, escort services, and strip clubs all contribute to the commercial sex industry. The Defenders are committed to doing everything in our power to stop that exploitation.
Their mission statement is:
Our primary goal is to raise awareness and advocacy about the realities of pornography and prostitution. Through the work of Shared Hope, we also offer restoration for victims of sex trafficking, and bring justice to traffickers. We also encourage discussion and empower activists, political leaders, college groups, members of the media, faith-based organizations, and other groups to stand against the sex trafficking market. We defend ourselves, our families, and our communities from sex trafficking and exploitation, by being educated.
When I discovered The Defenders USA and dug through the resources that they had to share, I was forced to consider, for the first time, the implications that viewing pornography had for people other than myself. It wasn’t just myself that I was harming with what I was letting pass before my eyes. Not everyone who is a participant in a porn video is there of their own free will, many young, underage, vulnerable, and immigrant women are forced or tricked into that life. And without demand, in the form of fingers clicking and eyes watching, there can be no supply.
So I took The Defenders Pledge:
Will you?
The Defenders Pledge has been something that I have always remembered when I’ve felt the temptation to fall back into old habits, and by the grace of God, I have not gone down that path since I said these words and made this commitment about 10 years ago:
Today, I am making a commitment in my life to demonstrate the following before my family and friends:
I am taking a stand to fight against pornography, prostitution or any form of the commercial sex industry.
I will hold my friends accountable for their actions toward women and children.
I will take immediate action to protect those I love from this destructive market.
In terms of destruction, we hear a lot these days about “epidemics”: Zika, AIDS, different flu strains, and most recently, opioids. Classifying something as an epidemic is a sure-fire way to raise urgency or fear about a particular issue to the extent that the public starts paying attention and is maybe willing to do something about it. Yet, pornography isn’t even a blip on the radar, despite evidence accumulating that it is harmful and destructive to things we hold dear. Maybe that’s because it’s a silent killer; something that is done, almost exclusively, in private, and something that men rarely talk about due to shame and self-hatred.
Again, I’m not here to judge anyone, we all have things that we struggle with, I’m just here to share a word from my heart and show the path that God has led me down and continues to lead me down to escape from this temptation.
For those who are more interested in the workout part of this, rather than my diatribes, Day 5 was the final workout of the week for the Spartan beginner plan.
Day 4’s workout focus areas were: Legs / Shoulders / Biceps / Abs, and consisted of 5 exercises with the following instructions:
Squats: 5 sets, add weight each set for a top set of 5 repetitions
Military Press: 5 sets, add weigh each set for a top set of 5 repetitions
Dumbbell Lateral Raises: 3 sets, 8–12 repetitions per set
Barbell Curls: 5 sets, add weight each set for a top set of 5 repetitions
Abdominal Crunches (or any ab exercise): 3 sets to failure
It was a good workout overall, I’m still working my way into feeling comfortable with the different exercises, but that will come with time. My favorite part of Body of a Spartan, however, is the pace:
The key to getting benefit from 30 minutes a day is to take short rest breaks. Unless you are working up to a very heavy personal best, you will want to keep your rest periods to one minute or shorter.
That’s all for Day 5, folks. Day 6 will be a slight change of pace. Stay tuned tomorrow — same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!
Quote of the Day:
You can’t stop birds from flying over your head, but you can stop them from making nests in your hair.
~Martin Luther
Links to Past Episodes/Resources:
Day 2: “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth”
Manfield’s Book of Manly Men: An Utterly Invigorating Guide to Being Your Most Masculine Self
If you have any feedback, please send me a message or leave it on my Facebook page or Twitter. This is a new project, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Encouragement and criticism are always welcome.
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