My FATHER… The gift that keeps on giving!

Tapiwa Matsika
Sep 1, 2018 · 5 min read

“A father acts on behalf of his children by working, providing, intervening, struggling, and suffering for them. In so doing, he really stands in their place. He is not an isolated individual, but incorporates the selves of several people in his own self. Every attempt to live as if he were alone is a denial of the fact that he is actually responsible. He cannot escape the responsibility, which is his because he is a father…” Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Ethics.

On most Sundays I tend to go for a coffee at a cafe up the road (its actually a very frustrating walk up a hill) and it is here where I get to enjoy the peace that one deserves on a Sunday morning. However, I can be certain tomorrows coffee will not be as quiet as it is Fathers Day in New Zealand.

Growing up I was always so keen to say “Happy Fathers Day” to my dad whilst holding my classroom made card with awful writing, but when I did he would always respond with a very mellow “thank you” and a quick smile and that was it. As I have grown older that has now moved to a text where he simply responds “TKS”. I could probably admit that mum is probably better at this kind of stuff I would say however that does not mean my dad is tough as nails. In fact, its quite the opposite. Allow me to share some of the lessons I have picked up from my father:

  • HAVE A PLAN- My father has always emphasised the need to have a plan. Take time to plan your day ahead. Being a bit of a lazy chap planning was never a part of my lifestyle until I got to university where this becomes a necessary part of everyday life. To build on this lesson, my father has always upheld the fact that a plan might or will fail but that is where you get to learn and analyse what and how you could have done something better. That is a very valuable lesson that he has taught me as a child which I always try to incorporate in whatever has to be done.
  • OFFER A HELPING HAND- I have seen on many occasions my father go provide assistance to people be it a friend, relative or even a stranger. At times I get so annoyed that he is like that but this is probably because of my own trust issues where i find it so hard to easily trust people. However, over the last few years I have been learning to help more where I can because one day I will most definitely need help and if I cannot provide it to another person now then how can I expect it in my hour of need?
  • WORK HARD FOR YOUR FUTURE- I only have to go back a couple of years in my life to see the truth of this because to be where I am it is from my fathers (and obviously my lovely mother who in her own right is a legend..) hard work and his desire to give us as children the best life. However, what I have learnt from him is a well known principle which is: Success does not happen overnight! You have to ACTUALLY work for what you want and see opportunities in something that perhaps others deem boring or dull or not lucrative. Basically take the plunge!
  • LAUGH A LOT - In every family with two or more children, there is the child who is usually very uptight and takes longer to get a joke and then the ones who are so relaxed and are quick to catch on to a good laugh. Well I am the uptight one (in my defence I like to tell myself that academically I am better ) and if there is one thing I have learnt from my father and my two brothers it is to learn to laugh! I sometimes believe that they have never encountered a situation that has stopped them from having a cheeky giggle and perhaps that is why they manage to find solutions quicker than I do on most stressful things. However, I can assure you that daily I am learning to laugh at myself of which I am thankful for
  • FORGIVENESS - If I could give my dad a dollar for every time he has forgiven his boys in a heartbeat for their reckless errors, he would be a millionaire. I remember when I was 10 years old I started the car in the first gear and it went into the front of garage wall and the light got damaged. I only told my older brother who did a brilliant job at trying to reassure me it would be fine if we just kept quiet. Anyway, I returned to boarding school where after a few days I got a message saying my father knew what i did. I became the best letter writer and apologised profusely with every letter i wrote home and he never responded. However, when I got home three weeks later it was back to normal and not a word was uttered about my first self-taught driving lesson! There are many other wrongs that we as children have done and he always forgives us. We have heard of other families torn apart due to a lack of forgiveness but I am so thankful my old man always forgives.
  • PRAY ALWAYS- I don’t think on this one I can give dad all the credit because both my parents have taught us to pray and to always remain faithful in the Lord. To be honest, living far away from home for a few years now i would like to believe that this is their greatest and most cherished contribution to my life because in the many hard situations that I have faced, prayer has really helped me. It is different in every person AND I GET THAT! However, for me it is something I value.

To finish up I would like to say to my Father, my older brother and the millions of dads out in the world today thank you and a very Happy Fathers Day from New Zealand. To the fathers to be let us learn from the good and perhaps the bad, take it on board and hopefully support and love our young ones when they enter this harsh world!

Tapiwa Matsika

Written by

African and a lover of all things good! Most times you’ll catching me pursuing my legal dream or drinking a coffee!

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