In Response to an Earlier Declarative Statement I Once Made

“I have not wanted empty beginnings like confetti out of an envelope that is scattered and forgotten.”

I do not trust something without substance.

I do not want to be forgotten.

I forget so much.

I do not know how things can end.

I do not trust weddings or anything much to do with confetti —

except strippers;

I trust strippers, streamers & confetti from undergarments.

I saw a wedding that began with confetti from an envelope I brought to the courthouse

and felt ill after throwing. It ended at a Chinese Restaurant. It was nothing like what I


I Have Not wanted. Have Now? Seems there is an inherent clause here.

Could you want?

Perhaps that is the old me. This new one is, in fact, more willing to take words, again, at their word.

Face value.

And so is it also not so bad to be scattered, ashes, ultimately in death?

In fact, I do want beginnings like confetti,

I want ones that celebrate, I want a scattering, a reaching out and forward and through and connecting to the world.

It is confetti and beginnings that remember us.

It is okay to want and try.

It is not empty.

It is empty.

Empty is the only beginning.

A Fool.

To trust.

A fool to engage.

A fool’s courage to live.

You are right.

I have wanted beginnings of all kinds, especially ones with confetti.