How Motherhood gave me a gift of Gratitude
This is my first attempt at writing a note or an article and sharing it with the world! Being shit scared is an understatement and its good that no one can see me right now :) So, let me begin with a huge Thank You for reading this. Thank you for your time. I hope you get something out of it.
I am a proud mom of two teenagers and being a Mom is the best gift life has given me. Hence this article is about the feeling of gratitude towards God/Life/Fate and I feel that this is perfect to start 2017 with. I am most grateful about being a mother and for receiving two beautiful blessings in my life in the form of my two children. My first born will always hold a special place in my heart as he gave me the designation of a Mom and my second one will be extra special for me as she helped me and continues to help me become a strong woman and be proud to be a woman.
When I see myself in my children it gives me a joy which is hard to describe. When I see them live their lives with the values they hold dear and stay true and honest to those values, I feel my heart expanding with a surge of pride and gratitude. I must have done something good in my past life to have a family that loves me and cherishes me. So what has really changed in me after I became a mother, especially after the birth of my second child. This thought crossed my mind as I was sitting alone sipping my morning cup of tea after the busy breakfast hustle-bustle had settled and everyone else were on their way for the day. And the following is what I realised.
I have become grateful and understood what Gratitude and being grateful means.
“Giving birth and being born brings us into the essence of creation, where the human spirit is courageous and bold and the body, a miracle of wisdom.” — Harriette Hartigan
Motherhood has made me embrace and appreciate the woman in me. I grew up in a conservative traditional minded joint family which was more patriarchal than what I could accept and hence I always felt that I had to somehow prove myself to be better than the boys. Even thought I was in every which way a girl I never accepted the feminine in me and always put my “boy” side out for the world to see. Being a first born helped in a big way and I was very successful in being a big “brother” to my younger sibling who was a boy and that too a fair skinned one and hence more loved and cared for in my father’s family. Anyways lets not get into that story now, so coming to the point I was making, is that, as a child this kind of environment unconsciously pushed me away from being a girl and understanding myself with respect to my femininity. Even after getting married I was not fully aware and in connect with my femininity, it happened only after I became a mother! Oh! What a wonderful feeling it was! I was truly and in essence born on the day I delivered my son, my first child. It was a magical moment and it made me forget all the pain and discomfort of my nine months of pregnancy as well as a long laborious delivery. That day the woman in me was born as well as the mother in me and that is what I am most grateful for.
I have learnt to be strong, patient, loving, gentle, kind, ferociously protective, playful, dramatic, childish and responsible as being a mother has required me to bring all those parts of me out to play. As I went on playing these parts and being a young Mom, first at the age of 24 and then at the age of 25 (almost 26), I started realising who I am and what I am. I started understanding the woman in me and started falling in love with myself which was new to me. As this journey progressed, I also started recognising the gifts or blessings that this realisation brought along and that gave me this immense feeling of gratitude.
This feeling of gratitude is a very strong healing force. It has helped me tremendously during the ups and downs in my life and has made me stand strong, humble and at peace whenever circumstances tried to break me. Motherhood gave me the feeling of being loved and the freedom to love, it gave me the feeling of being needed and the power to be able to provide, it gave me the feeling of being responsible and the strength to protect, it gave me the feeling of being proud and the sweetness to be humble, it gave me the feeling of being superior and the choice to be helpless…and this list is quite exhaustive.
“Birth is the epicenter of women’s power.” –Ani DiFranco
and it has ignited my power in full force! For this I will always be grateful and for all the wonderful moments and memories I have collected as a mother. This gift of Gratitude is the most cherished amongst all my other blessings. Thank You God/Life/Nature for this.