The anatomy of being a flatmate

Tarun Kumar
Jul 24, 2017 · 4 min read

With increasing number of employers and employees in private sector, a new kind of culture has cropped up. The system of becoming a tenant in a flat usually in groups. I do not say that it is something new. I only say, this trend has seen a significant growth in recent times. One of the reason can be distribution of companies offices limited to certain cities. If you are a private sector employee then you are bound to enter in this system. Although this concept seems to be normal part of a daily working life but actually there are various aspects that are very interesting.

It starts with the search of a potential candidate who can be trusted,who is easy to adjust, who can be understanding and who seems like a good person.The reason behind the selection can be many- Good first encounters with the person, feedback from others, reference from an old friend and many more. However, most of the times it is based on psychology of trust and intuition. Based upon our past social experiences, somewhere in our mind, we already have a intuition about that person. In addition, first few meetings always seals the decision in our mind. Many times we hear this expression- “Yaar woh banda/bandi apne type ka hai”. A popular study of social interactions states that when a two strangers meets they only search for two things- if I can trust this guy/girl? or if I can respect this guy/girl for his/her skills and achievements? When any one out of two is fulfilled, we make our decision.

After the agreement among a group of such people to share a flat, there comes three phases of flat hood. First- The Introduction. In this phase, a group of people with a limited personal space that has already been crowded by their work, parents, best buddies from college and school life, present boyfriends or girlfriends or may be fiance, starts the process of sharing this space. The first few weeks or months are always merrier because it is always interesting to know a new person.Curiosity kills the cat here. On the other hand, it is always a good feeling to present your best version forward in the process of knowing each other.

After the honeymoon period comes the second phase- The adjustment. In this period, the real personality of a person suddenly starts to fan out.This thing can go any side.For instance, it might be the case the person that you thought to be dry, cold or distant actually comes out to be warm and friendly. On the contrary, it may become the other way around. Either way you come to know the typical habits, activities, likes or dislikes. In a nutshell, you come to know how that person actually lives. At this point of timeline, there may come various issues.It spans form distribution of work,adjustment of habitual activities, adjustment with different people coming and going. It becomes a dynamic place to live that is also exhausting and irritating sometimes.

Then comes the last phase- Resonance. At this stage, we kind of accept the person and environment like the way it is. No doubt there would have been several changes and adjustment made by individuals. However, it is not possible and not sensible for someone to change altogether for somebody. I think this is the best phase to live as flatmate.

The dynamics in a flat is a very interesting to observe. It is kind of a intersection of many lives, with there changing landscapes, at a single point. The changing scenario at personal front generally shapes the choices we make, the nature of interaction we have and the priorities we adopt as flatmates. Thus, in such a vibrant environment,there are rainbow of emotions that erupt at different time. There can be talks on future at 2 am Maggi party and there can be a bad fight for tiniest of things. Be it love or hate, attachment or jealousy, belonging or irritation, affection or frustration, no two days are same. Moreover, there happens to be some characters in every group which keep the things interesting. Therefore, it is a delicate social bond which varies like sinusoidal wave. The limited personal space that the people share, it becomes a bond mixed with formalities and casualness. Many a time, it gives you brothers or sisters for lifetime (like the TV Series named F.R.I.E.N.D.S) and many a time the nastiest of experience.

In a nutshell, living as flatmate is one of the fascinating experience in our lives. In a working professional life, a flatmate is the person which he/she becomes close to knowingly or unknowingly. Whatever may be the result bitter or sweet, this experience always adds new friends to your life with the pseudonym used sometime as “Ex-Flatmates”.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade