The Sense of Normalency.

(I wrote this in a piece of paper as a sort of cool down therapy.)

The sense of boringness. Well, right now, we’re turning up the boredom. And we can only solve this in so little ways. One: Watch some entertaining things. And frankly this is a thing that you should have done. I don’t know why you didn’t do it right now. But then what else can you do? Perform suffering? Well yeah. Perhaps you can inject some suffering into your system. After all, you’re an insufferable prick. And so, what can you do? Talk to yourself to death?

Is it a social lack that we’re having here? Well perhaps, the feeling of deadness in this bright day is the formidable wall of this century. It’s what’s keeping us uptight about all things. So let’s begin staring at the world. Let’s meditate. Let the problems float away. Let’s see what you actually need to address. What you can’t do right now that you can do soon.

Meeting with your friend. The pressure of going to a reunion. Well, that’s certainly some pressure. I dunno what exactly to see in any case. How should I go there? Why and when? What do I say? Do I go there? Do I risk going there? How would I react it’s so much pressure and I feel like I have to hold that through myself. I just want to flow at it like a log on the river flowing at it and hitting all the right spots and being a general sport with all the things.

Well, this is a lot of things to unpack. That’s enough for me to feel very very anxious. And I don’t know what to do. I feel shitty. Lots of things to worry about. But I shouldn’t worry. I should continue on, I can keep my focus. I can continue on and just do whatever I want to do. I don’t want to stand around and do nothing.

But it is an effort to do anything. You can feel the pressure. The ticking down. Your life ticks down everyday and you lose a bit of it every tick until you can’t move no more. And time stops. And what have you done? You hope you’d accomplish something. But all you did is write ever more lengthy pieces of papers. But I should be resolute. Do not mind. Your thoughts are not yours. Your anxieties should be eliminated. No more caring about things too much. Less pressure to connect. No pressure at all. No obsessive checking and trying to eliminate FOMO.

Let’s experience tranquility. Let’s experience whatever we want to experience and let loose. Feel cathartic. Well no, your time ain’t too precious to be just lost on existential crisis. You need this. You want yourself to be at the tip top shape. And this is one way you can do it. Just stay calm and do nothing. Stop feeling guilty.