What Drives You?

Passion should be the thing that drives anyone on anything they do. However, the idea of ‘searching’ your passion is a complete non-sense. Rather than trying out everything that is available to you, you would most likely to find your passion only by evaluating your everyday habits; what activity that you do most often? What task that you enjoy doing? To support my point, no passionate people that I know admits to have ‘searched’ their passion. They just do things, over and over again and loved it, and then realized “this it it! I’d love to do this for the rest of my life!”

Weird isn’t it?

Talking about passion. All these years, I’ve been trying a lot of things by means of ‘searching’ my passion. It is hard for me to explain myself, since I am that kind of ‘I don’t know what I really like but I can tell you what I don’t like’ person. To give you an example:

  • Favorite movie? I like Godfather. I like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind too. I like almost all movies that I saw except if it is kinda boring or horrifying.
  • Favorite music genre? I listen to almost everything. Rock, alternative rock, punk rock, jazz, country, pop, EDM, acoustic, all sounds fine to my ears. What I know is that I like Arctic Monkeys since forever and I do not listen to metal.
  • Favorite book? Godfather. But I’m not really into fiction books, I read non-fiction big time (see, inconsistency).
  • Hobby and/or interest? I can hardly answer to this one. I like traveling (but most of the time only went to Singapore rather than visiting other destinations), reading (but often got too caught up by my campus life and have no time to read), and dancing (but the only time I do dancing in my college years was attending dancing workshop in campus last year). I have an interest in automotive (but stopped taking care of Lancie now), theater (but only played once during my college years), and writing (but all I have is the old, absurd blog that I created during my junior high school years). Yes, it seems like I can’t even explain what I like to do on my spare time.

In fact, I realized that my indecisiveness in answering my hobby and/or interest was because I was always ‘try’ to find my passion. I don’t have time to constantly doing one thing seriously simply because I was too eager to try everything. On my last year of college, I decided that this needs to change.

I started to look around, evaluate my habits. As a person who thinks a lot and a memory keeper, I tend to write things down. Since high school, I have this one book which I write my thoughts down whenever I have something bothering my mind. I also have a daily journal since years ago to evaluate what did I do for the past week, month, and even year! Yup, yup, I like writing. I love doing it as an act to express myself.

When I was interviewed for an internship three months ago, the interviewer asked about my love for writing. “Oh, you love writing? What kind of writing is it? Do you have a blog?” said the interviewer. Yes, I do have a blog. But I think I shouldn’t mention about my old junior high school blog in this kind of professional interview. It is somewhat embarrassing and plus I have not updated it in years. I could not handle it if the interviewer happens to actually checked on my old blog and laughed at how sucked my writing was. So I said, “not exactly. I always write things down on my book and usually keep my writings to my own”, I answered. The she replied, “ah. Thank God. I thought you have this kind of horrible and poor blog that kind of which is written by an unstable teenagers in high school. Hahahahahhahahahahahahha.”

I then immediately deleted my old blog as soon as I get home.

Anyway, that interview has become another wake-up call for me. Besides expressing my thoughts into writing, it is also a good idea to share it with other people. It would not do any harm to anyone. Instead, it might give a broader understanding for other people who happens to wonder what kind of writing that I do or just simply as a tool for me to being myself. I want to try new things; I want to create something that might have a bigger impact. I should start my own blog.

So, here it is. A blog. MY blog.

If expressing myself and sharing my thoughts has drive me into trying out something new, what drives you?

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