Ouroboros is an ancient symbol of a snake or dragon eating it’s own tail. It is a circle. It was found in ancient Greece, ancient Egypt, Norse mythology, and Hinduism.
The meaning of ouroboros varies under different contexts. It includes the cycle of life, rebirth, foundation of the universe, transmigration of souls, etc.
I believe that symbolism in the world does come from a collective agreeing of a subjective reality, but the agreed upon symbolism can take on meaning for us in an individual personal way. Through our own experience it can change to mean something else entirely.
I have been taking part in Gestalt therapy, which promotes a somatic experience of witnessing and embracing parts of oneself from prior (some very long ago) lived realities.
One thing that I have encountered repeatedly in my life is a nervous, cold, uncontrollable shaking that happens when I try to speak something deeply true to me. It often occurs when I try to set boundaries, share an intimate experience, or voice my needs.
Today, it appeared as I entered my therapy session and my therapist asked me how far back this feeling goes. I felt that it had been there farther back than I had words. It was fully visceral, with no exact memory or narrative attached to it. The word “infantile” was how I described it.
Through the session we worked on witnessing myself as an infant and through the witnessing, seeing that the current me is a caregiver, observing, listening to, attuning to, nurturing, and loving this infant as she shivered and retracted into herself. My therapist made a motion with his hand like taking something from the chest and setting it aside. I was to take this infant and the fear that she experienced and see that she was separate from the me that was existing in this moment. She exists. I exist.
In that peeling apart these layers of my physical experience, and imagining her as a separate entity, I actually stopped shaking. I felt warm and expanded inside. My heart relaxed and warmth was returning to my body.
Through his firm and secure reassurance of staying in the present moment with her, I shifted my awareness to the visceral safety I felt in the now. I imagined holding the infant that I was and pouring my loving energy into her. Helping her feel safe and protected in the now.
The image of the ouroboros then appeared in my mind. How strange! I thought. I am holding my own Self! I am merging with my past in the present moment. I am a circle. I am whole.
I was always whole.
