Magazine Covers I’ve Graced

But were only printed in limited edition because capitalism fears true art and also because I made them myself, shh!

Getty images, filed: YEP, REAL

Vanity Fair, March 1998

It’s me in a shawl, pushing a wagon of crucified Jesuses through the streets of Jerusalem. Headline: A BOUNTIFUL EASTER. Eventually replaced by Madonna talking about her boring kid.

Highlights Magazine, December 2015

So the whole deal with this publication is pushing “Fun With Purpose.” This issue also happened to follow the release of the popular R&B album Purpose by Justin Bieber, an artist known for getting naked. Basically I photographed myself in briefs and put it on a children’s magazine. The lawsuits were…swift!

Bon Appétit, July 2008

Typical fare here would be artisanal hot dogs on the barbie. Skipped the grill and went straight for my mouth. Editors added a censor bar; I called the Supreme Court.

Popular Science, January/February 2014

Me, a white t-shirt, red lipstick, HEADLINE: THIS IS WHAT AN EXPERIMENT LOOKS LIKE!

Newsweek, July 7th 1969

The “Moon Age” issue. Literally just a pic of my butt.

VOGUE, September 2007 (kind of)

Yes, they made a documentary about this one. But what that sham film doesn’t show is how Sienna Miller’s biceps stole this from me. We all know Anna Wintour is tough, but did you know she also makes models mud-wrestle for the cover? And that she places death-bets? And that she can’t take off her sunglasses because thousands of screaming beetles will pour out her eyes? Also, Sienna Miller has a really good left hook.

Rolling Stone, October 2007

Some of those Anna Wintour beetles, but with my face, rolling a stone uphill. Headline: HE’S GOT SISYPHUS.

Men’s Journal, Some Point in the Future

I would never do this!!!!!

TIME, July 10th 2017

A list of all the seniors, disabled people, pregnant women, low-income tax payers, children in special education programs, Planned Parenthood patients, and other constituents that will lose health coverage under the the Senate ACHA bill. My grandparents’ names are on there. My parents’ names just escaped it. Under different circumstances, my name would be there in bold. Don’t know why TIME turned this one down, but I can make copies @allsenatorswhowant2keeptheirjobs. So glam!

Please contact me for framed versions. $500 each. No refunds. No kisses.

Tavis Gray is a rising pop star with very little talent. He has a newsletter, and a website, but no face!

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.