It was a quiet night.

Everyone was gathered at the sitting room watching television. The coast was clear.

My plan was simple. Enter my mother's room,take the few coins she had left carelessly on her table and disappear.

Everyone in school was buying 5naira 'lolli'. That's what cold lollipops were called then.

I could only afford to buy the 2naira dark red ones but everyone knew the bright orange ones were the sweetest.

And the most expensive.

5naira.

I couldn't ask my parents for more money.2naira was something but it wasn't 5naira. I wanted to fit in so badly,it was a no brainer.

It was going to go well like the last time. Take it nimbly and go. She had lots of it scattered on her table,she wouldn't miss it.

The door to her room creaked a little, my breath caught. I looked inside;it was empty.

Great.

I saw the coins glittering dully in the dark. I crept close and picked up 3. I turned around and moved towards the door. Something on the side caught my eye.

I turned to face it and my gaze clashed with that of mother.It suddenly occurred to me that she had been looking at me quietly in the dark. All the while.

My heart stopped.

She was holding her towel to her chest. It was then I noticed her skin glistening with water.She had hurried out of the shower because she had heard something

Chink of coins maybe...

My life flashed before my eyes.

She came towards me and said...

"Go and sit down"

A little context here,dear Reader.

My mom was a typical shouting mom. You know those ones that flip. She was the president of Shouting Moms Association (if there was any) in her day.

And so, as I looked at her. I realised, this could probably be the last night of my life.

I swallowed.

She came towards me very quietly, gently almost, and asked me to sit down.

Sit down,my mind ruptured. Sit down. Was that what she was going to start with today? Sit down and then get the cane behind the bed or scuffle up and get the one hidden up on the threshold? My heart was beating very fast.

She went back inside,to finish her bath. My eyes were fishing for possible routes of escape. It was the longest four minutes of my life.

When she came back into the room, she sat across me and looked at me almost gently. I was waiting for the slap or something.

One second, another second. A minute passed and she finally spoke.

"Omotayo,why?",she asked

I had no answer. Really I had none. What could I say? How could I explain that I just wanted to fit in with the cool kids,the 5naira lolli kids. I didn't think it was wise and so I held my tongue.

"Is there anything you want that I haven't been able to give you?"

At this point,I wished she had beaten me. I would have preferred that to these soft words that broke not only my bones but my heart.

I had somehow disappointed her on a particular level that only a daughter could.

I was still reeling from her soft words when I heard my father's heavy footsteps coming along the corridor.

My breath caught again knowing that if he heard about my latest lolli adventure,it would be a night to remember, for sure!

But then my mom did something I would forever remember;she went silent. When my father drew close,all he could see from the surface was a mother and daughter having a heart to heart talk about "women things" perhaps and nothing more.

Whooooosh! I exhaled heavily. What had just happened? Had my mother just covered up for me? Had she somehow known that all it would take would be this few words of counsel and nothing more?

I looked at her as if she just grown another head. Maybe two extra. I had never seen this side of my mother before.

This soft spoken woman who could only discipline with...words?

It suddenly occurred to me that she was trying to reach my heart. What she didn't know was that she had reached beyond my heart: she had touched down and reached my spirit.

I felt something begin to unfurl in my chest. Was it gratitude? Or love? Or something else I didn't have a name for. I still don't know.

All I knew was I was NEVER going to steal from her or anyone again. It was that thorough,her teaching. Her restraint.

Almost three decades later,I still hold the lessons close to my chest as if they happened just yesterday.

And who knows maybe it was then the seeds of Shouting Moms was born: the complexities of a woman who can be everything all at once and more.

It would take me a couple more years to understand the depths of the lessons I learnt that night.

Sit back and relax as I share more stories from this new project of mine and perhaps you will learn a few lessons as well.

Or maybe not.

Only if you have an open mind will the lessons sink in.

You’ll have an open mind,won’t you?