Exercise 101: A history of struggle
I recently found out that when I do press-ups, it looks like I’m doing the worm.
Not only is this alarming information, as well as explaining my excruciating back pain, it goes towards the notion that:
I’m horrible at exercise.
I was an athletic kid. My limbs sprouted at an alarming rate when I was eleven. This was perfect for flying over hurdles.
Then I went to an all-girls high school… Yes it’s as scary as it sounds. Aside from a brief stint where I took kick boxing classes (because of the Charlie’s Angels movie with Lucy Lui in it) I, more or less, stopped exercising by choice.
By the time I got my first full time permanent job in TV where they paid me in cash money instead of high-fives, I had given up on exercise all together. People wrongly assumed that I was athletic probably because of my remarkably flat chest, when in reality I was stuffing my face with the sweets on the treat desk, which was also, conveniently my desk.
I moved to a different desk when I was promoted. Wheeling my chair between my desk and the treat desk- approximately 1 foot away from me- was strenuous enough for me to class it as exercise.
Then I went travelling and I decided to get fit. I climbed a mountain in Malaysia!
But I split my trousers trying to stretch my leg up a make-shift rope ladder of death, and had to continue climbing up and down for another 6 hours with my arse out.
I cycled 26 miles in San Diego!
But it was by accident. I was swayed into doing it but truth be told, I didn’t know precisely how long 26 miles was, and that cycling it turns your legs into wet spaghetti. Also, I got lost and was the last one to arrive at the destination.
And most recently while demonstrating my superior exercise skills, I found out that not only have I been doing the worm instead of press-ups, but I run in a manner which causes people to become concerned for my well-being. I know this because people have stopped me in the street to ask if I’m okay.
With all this being said, I should throw in the towel. Just stop.
But I wont.
Not because “exercising is good and blah, blah, blah.” Yeah, yeah, yeah…
But because sometimes, even if you look ridiculous, the best thing you can do is try.