Dear White Ladies-
Shannon Barber

Dear Shannon,

Thank you. This white woman had a revelation the other day. I was reading a post about #notallmen and I got it. I had it. I know of men who are hurt and upset because they are supportive of women and were not a part of the ‘abusive rapists' feminists were taking on. I finally understood why some men had the need to speak out…for…themselves. These #notallmen were taking on the subject matter and making it about them. They were not able to step back and hear what was being said because they were too busy making it about themselves. Yep I got it! I finally understood these men were once again making it about them. A true AHA moment.

Then I heard myself and realized whenever a black person talked about their family slavery history I would say wait, #notallwhitepeople owned slaves. Heck most of my family were still in Europe until after the Civil War. So yeah, I agree it was horrible but that happened in the past and my family had nothing to do with it, I had nothing to do with slavery. WTF? Did you see how I did that? I took what you were saying and made it about ME. I am the white version of #notallmen. And I didn’t know what to do, how to not be the #notallwhitepeople person.

And then your article from 2014 popped up. And you told me to shut up and listen. Just shut the hell up and listen. STOP making it about me. STOP negating what you said. Shut the fuck up and listen.

Thank you Shannon for giving me a tool, a very important tool, so I can stop being one of the #notallwhitepeople and become one of the #Itsnotaboutme so #Iwillshutmymouthandlisten. Thank you.


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