Life’s Confusions and Pre-Programmed Thinking

Somehow, it seems I have the same conversation all the time with people who just don’t get it. Maybe they don’t get it because the can’t contemplate the idea or I do not explain the idea well enough. I am very detailed orientated person who expects and desires more out of life whether it is in a relationship, a friendship or in my career. If you find the right one, the right relationships with your family (even your crazy cheek grabbing aunt, we still gotta love crazy Aunt Marge), or you find the right career/job/entrepreneurial ventures, your lives are maybe filled with happiness and vigor. The equation love relationship + family relationship + job/career/entrepreneurship path = fulfilled and happy life. Okay enter the critics and cynics. We can’t have our cake and eat it too. Whoever came up with that saying, never understood the meaning of life. In our various stages and years of our lives, situations and people change. I believe this is instilled in us from school. We go to school learn, graduate college and get a job with benefits, 401K and a good paying job. This is what we are suppose to do. Well for me, using my equation from above I have one out of the three parts for my equation and it equals a SYNTAX error.

Relationship with non-existing girlfriend + relationship with family + X = syntax error. Mind blown and cannot compute. In my situation, I am searching for my life meaning and refusing to stay in a situation that does not hold true to who I am. My X is my career, I desire not a job but a life’s work of fulfillment achieve goals and bettering myself and those around me. We go back to that lie we are programmed to believe and it is societies way of not wanting people to succeed because they never did. We want another normal functioning member of society. I desire the same success of my role models but what is holding me back is the “how to do it.” I know the why and the when but the “how” sometimes can be confusing because their are so many levels to concentrate on. I’ve noticed myself working harder and smarter to get out of my situation but it’s that feeling that you are missing something. Something is my X factor plus the Relationship factor.

I am trying to travel down a different career path, I am not happy where I am as we speak. It is just not for me that is all and I am not growing and learning new skills.

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