King, Grassley master augmented reality

A world where reporters are elites and a defeated rebellion adds a splash of color to a dull desk

So my younger daughter feverishly ran around our neighborhood into the muggy night Monday. An ice cream truck? OK, yes. But she also was playing Pokémon Go.

In case you missed it, or failed to bump into some clown staring down at his phone, it’s a game app blending a GPS-guided hunt for digital Pokemon characters and treasures with real world locations. Hence, people are stumbling around, obliviously hunting for fantasy beings to smack with balls, grab treasure and take over stuff. It’s sort of like Trump’s Twitter feed.

The app is an example of “augmented reality,” digital stuff that interacts with people and places outside your parent’s dim basement. It’s new, to people like me, who are usually the last to know.

But it occurs to me that “augmented reality” has been a staple in Congress for years. We’ve got two fresh examples just this week.

On Monday came evidence, thanks to video shot by Sioux City’s KCAU-TV and many sharp-eyed viewers, that U.S. Rep. Steve King may have hired George Wallace Interiors to decorate his office.

There it was, on his desk. Among family photos, decorative mugs and a lovely acorn-shaped candy dish, stood the Confederate battle flag. The Lost Cause, abruptly found on an American congressman’s desk. In 2016.

In the real world, King is a Republican congressman from Iowa. Republican, as in Abe Lincoln, ending slavery, leading the Union to victory in the Civil War over the confederacy. And Iowa, as in a state that provided thousands of volunteers to fight for the Union, with more than 13,000 dying of disease, wounds and other misfortunes. There’s also the legacy of that flag as a potent symbol of white supremacy, the official banner of Jim Crow.

You’d think King, who has talked of his abolitionist ancestors and of his affinity for Lincoln, would see a problem with his rebel desk doodad.

But in this case, reality likely has been augmented by the Great Battle of Political Correctness, or Pettysburg, presented by Fox. On this vast field of solemn conflict, the battle flag lets everyone know you’ve refused to heed an inch of ground to over-sensitive liberals, or to overwhelming historical evidence, or to progress. America must remain a place where the Confederate flag can be a symbol of pride and history, commonly displayed by southerners and others who still admire those who seceded from the union and waged a horrific war to protect their right to buy and sell people as property.

Can I get a rebel yell? Or at least a dog whistle?

Aw, shoot, it’s just a little old flag. What’s the big deal? It also was just a little old amendment King sponsored to keep Harriet Tubman off the $20 bill. And there’s a sweet little tweet last week seeming to blame the nation’s first black president for a sniper attack on police officers in Dallas. Don’t get him started on immigrants, gays, lawn mowers, etc.

It seems like the real problem isn’t on the desk. It’s sitting behind it.

Moving on…

Far less inflammatory was the latest attention-grabbing tweet from U.S. Sen. Chuck Grassley.

Some were offended. I was amused.

Grassley’s premise certainly would augment my own reality. Elite? Hardly. I’m as down to earth as they come. Pants, one leg at a time. Just ask my valet.

I laughed so raucously at the senator’s absurd query that I managed to distract my driver, Reginald. He, in turn, collided with a deer, leaving my Bentley terribly banged up and my lap full of Beluga. Assume deer dead. Assume Reginald sacked. Damn shame.