Forgive Them, Father
Words are hard to come by these days.
The sit and mock me with their delays
Confusion is confounding us all
Screaming the warnings before the fall
Pleading for common sense
Burning incense and bridges
As I stand up for what I believe in
As I stand against treason
As I hug my babies tight
And kiss them goodnight
I imagine their future.
And I’m scared.
I’m scared they won’t have clean water in 20 years.
I’m scared they’ll be fighting wars started in the next 4.
I’m scared they will forever be judged by what their predecessors did.
What I did.
What we did.
Let me say it how it is.
What white people did.
In the year 2016.
I flash forward 20 years and see a new scene.
I’m see my son
His blonde hair, his loving arms, his big blue eyes
I see him in uniform, the stars and stripes emblazoned
Across his chest
His loving arms and smiling face
Holding an AK
Fighting his way through this life
Praying he stays out of Heaven
I see his sister
My beautiful 6 year old, brilliant mind, jokes in her heart
I see her
Settling for less.
Because, she’s a girl
And will be told over and over again that her worth
Lies somewhere between who her husband is and how nicely she smiles
And through osmosis and cable news
He is shaping the minds of the boys around her.
I see her future as a scientist
As a doctor
As a biologist
As the brave, bold, brilliant girl she was created to be
Being wasted underneath the weight of sexism
Her strong voice being drowned out by the deeper baritone of the men who want her quiet.
Who want her docile.
Who want her.
And, you know what?
You’re God Damned right I’m angry.
I’m angry about what you’ve done.
I’m angry that of all the options, this seemed to be the best one?
I’m angry that you didn’t understand how dangerous racism is in this country.
Even if you don’t feel ‘that way’
Many do and you just busted off the lid and let the snakes out of the can.
I’m angry that you chose to seek out only fringe, bullshit media sites to confirm your already held opinion instead of seeking to understand facts.
I’m angry that facts are now opinions.
I’m trying to love you anyway.
I’m trying to believe you didn’t mean to do this.
I’m trying to understand that maybe many believed a different narrative
And didn’t think this would happen.
I’m trying to believe that the narrative I believe is wrong
Is over dramatized
Is my own echo chamber
And not as scary as it looks to me
I’m trying to have patience and forgiveness and I keep repeating
“Forgive them Father, They know not what they do.”
I hope it’s true.
My babies with the baby blues.
They hope so too.
Before they have to pick up an AK.