I don’t know these brides, but I’m getting married this fall and many friends who live elsewhere…

I mean, you can totally ask! And they can totally say no. My social and family network is far flung, and I invited people to the bridal shower and bachelorette even if they were far away and though I had no expectation of them coming (and no one from out of state did come, except for my mom to the bridal shower). I was more circumspect with the bridal shower invites since tradition dictates that you should send a gift if you can’t come and I didn’t want to do that to my friends (I invited out-of-state aunts because my mom said I should).

Having traditional pre-wedding events isn’t an imposition. It bugs me when people complain about weddings being “months long affairs” with “multiple plane trips” because if you don’t want to go, you DON’T HAVE TO GO. The events are fun for the people who want to be there, and the invitation is an expression of my affection for the recipient, not a letter saying “you must be here or else.” I understand some people are bridezilla about it and make it seem like an obligation, but like. everyone just be cool about it. go to the things you want to go to. don’t complain about people inviting you to multiple parties they are paying for. be nice to the people who can’t come to your parties because life is complicated and people have other priorities.