Love was here; love still is

We all have dreams. Mine has always been to be love.

The last couple of months have not been the easiest of my life in lots of ways- some things especially hard than others, but in other ways, it has really been the best for me.

I have been alone and felt lonely for a significant aspect of my life. Although I have always been one of those people with zero qualms about having to be alone or feeling lonely— accepting that even though painful and frightening at times, these are as common to (the/my) human experience as breathing— I am now one of those people who can agree that being alone have profound effects.

Over the last months, being by myself, I realized that my outlook on love, life, and many other things had gotten overcrowded and polluted. However, comparing my thoughts, responses, reactions, utterances, motivations, and overall outlook of recent months to those of (say) the last two or three years, I was shocked at the glaring differences which stared back at me. That is when it came up to me that my outlook has somehow gone back to what it, if I can say, originally was.

Once again, I am able to process and look at things from a soft place, and nothing makes me happier. Over the years, my outlook somehow became really tainted, and I constantly lived in unwavering denial of everything I felt, heard and knew. I believe being alone and just away from people and things has helped me come to a place where I can perceive and comprehend things in love — that is all I have ever wanted, and I know it is all I will ever want. So though life has been tough, I have been weirdly at my happiest — well, maybe not "happiest", but I am enjoying a far-reaching measure of peace and same difference, right? LOL

These days, when I think and/or feel, I am able to hear myself again. I am able to listen to what I know I hear and not question myself. I can think in love again; sway away from denial of who I am and what I feel; sway toward acceptance, self, grace, and love.

In the silence, I have been empowered to return to me, to return to love. We all have dreams. Mine has always been to be love.

This is officially my first post here! Thanks for reading until the end. For some reasons, I stopped sharing my writing, but recently, I have been feeling an overwhelming yearning to share again. I'm finally taking that jump – this is a massive deal for me.

Please react and engage with this and all my postings to come. Also, kindly please follow me :). I hope everything I share here touches every person who reads – even if it’s a light touch.

Love was here; love still is,

Tea