Mastering the Texting Tool While You’re Dating

Junie Moon
3 min readAug 30, 2022

Dating online gives you access to a huge pool of potential partners. The challenge though is that many people get stuck in text-me-land and don’t know how to navigate this powerhouse tool. This leads to dating burnout and giving up.

You can feel like you’re wasting a ton of energy and getting nowhere.

In this article, I’ll share with you some special strategies to put into place so you can stop spinning your wheels and get the traction you desire.

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in too much texting, wondering if you’re ever going to get to the actual person in real time, this is for YOU!

Ask yourself if you’ve noticed that you’re getting…

👉 One-word answers back…

👉 Dead air when you’ve tried to connect…

👉 Frustrated because you’ve run out of things to ask and you’re wondering how on earth am I going to move this along?

Then there’s the flip side.

👉 Maybe you’ve been making this great connection and they are amazing!

👉 The conversations are stimulating and OMG you are falling in love!

👉You haven’t even met this person in real-time but it just feels like the perfect match!!!

THEN it all goes south. Why?

Sorry to say, you are having a relationship with a PHONE!

So, how do you shift that?

First of all, take a breath because it’s a journey and you’ve gotta start somewhere.

Online dating is a great resource if you know how to do it well.

5 Hot Tips for Texting Success

1) Keep it short. Get to know each other a bit and go back and forth with a text or two. Eg: “Hey! Happy Friday! What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekends? Mine is…

The rule of thumb for texting is your message should be no longer than half the length of your thumb. You don’t want to be writing huge paragraphs.

Stick to the “Triple S’s” — texts should be short, simple, and specific. Some people tend to get overwhelmed if they see a huge, long text and it may be off-putting. You want to be succinct, to the point, and have something of substance to share.

2) Ask questions! It’s a great way to get some information. Eg: So, what are you most passionate about these days? How long have you been online? How’s it working for you? Ask some nice, entry-level questions.


3) Get offline! You can’t get a good sense of whether you have a truly great connection if you don’t meet in person. No matter how great the texts make you feel, you can’t get the whole picture from an app on your phone. You need to see if there’s chemistry AND that this person is actually real.


4) Hop on a call. After you’ve established some texting rapport, take the lead and ask to hop on a phone call so that you can get to know each other better. You want to hear each other’s voices to get some idea of the energy and tone.

5) Video chat: Some platforms like Bumble and Spiritual Singles offer you the opportunity to chat and get on video. This is a fabulous way to see each other in person while still staying safe and it’s fun! You can see what they look like. Feel their energy. And, get a real sense of the other person

This is how you start to get curious about each other and get to meet each other for real.

If you don’t get the ball rolling, getting stuck in a “text relationship” is a time sucker and isn’t the way to see if you have a connection with the person.

The main thing… don’t give up. Keep trying. Stay in the game. Use these messaging strategies to get to the fun stuff… meeting… and keep your eye on the prize — the partnership you desire and deserve.