Using ‘I.D.E.A.’ To Handle Your Fear
A simple tool to help you change your relationship with fear
Read part 1: Put Fear In Its Place
So, you've stared down your fear and are contemplating using your objectivity skills to get some clarity. But you want to make sure you don’t miss anything. What do you do?
Well, for me, the first thing to do when I stare down my fears and scrutinize them is, I want to know them. I want to become a fear expert. I want to know exactly what it is designed to show me, so I don’t miss it and what I have probably blown out of proportion in my history of ignoring or succumbing to it. So I shine the light on it and name it. As the first part of ‘handling’ my fear, I call this simply ‘Identify’ and it fits into a nice little acronym I.D.E.A to let me know that I have covered all the bases. This allows me to immediately feel a sense of control over it, rather than the other way around. Humans like to name things, to feel like we understand them, so that’s what I do. I like my names to accurately encapsulate them, define them, grab their essence and give me a hold on just what it is I am fearful of. I name it with the idea that I am telling it to another person, like I would be introducing it to my wife. “Love, here is my long time friend, Fear Of The Unknown. And he brought his friend Fear Of Not Being Good Enough to really give me the one-two punch.” See, what I have learned in scrutinizing my fears is that they rarely travel alone, they’re too scared to. They almost always bring their friends to bolster their ability to influence me and like to stay secret and in the dark. So I identify them by giving them names, shine the light of scrutiny on them and rob them of their power.
After I name it I Determine its validity. Yep, D is for Determine. I use data or provable information to determine how accurate my prediction is. You’re asking “What prediction?”, right? That is what fear is, a prediction of a future that has not happened yet. So, when I go predicting a future that hasn’t happened yet, I like to determine how realistic my predicting ability is. So I get as much information as I can about what I was predicting, what I was fearful of. I then use probability, rather than possibility to determine its accuracy. Nearly anything is possible, not many things are nearly as probable as we would like to imagine. I use probability, just as the experts do, to determine how accurate my prediction about a possible future is. But the D for Determine doesn’t stop there. No, then I determine if there is anything I can do to reduce the probability of what I have decided has a decent probability of happening. What realistic steps can I take and how much will these steps reduce the probability of what I fear from actually happening?
Now we come to the E of I.D.E.A., Enact. I enact all of the reasonable options I have determined will reduce the likelihood of what I fear to come to pass. I do it. I don’t hem and haw because I have already taken the time and energy to throw out the frivolous and extreme, the illogical and inept. I have whittled down through the process of elimination what simply won’t work or what I am unwilling to do and I am left with realistic and reasonable actions that will bring quantifiable results to reduce the probability of what I fear may happen.
After I have enacted these things that I have determined will alter the course of causation to an acceptable percentage of probability I do just that — I Accept that I have done what I could and the rest is up to things beyond my control. This one is always easier if you have thoroughly determined and then enacted all the viable measures to limit the probability of the fear you have identified. By the time you reach this point it is safe to say you have ‘handled’ your fear, and allowed it to serve you best. Congratulations.
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