On Fluid Matters

Back at the pun of matter. Matter the noun, matter the verb.

That which matters
exists 
affects 
shapes and is shapen;
interacts, physically.

We tell stories to communicate facts and feelings. Thought matters are still physical. I wish I could get an MRI while reading Leminski just so you’d see.

Wanting to say something is different from wanting to tell a story.

I can tell you, for instance, that I’ve recently experienced the obvious fact that specific bodily fluids taste very differently from one person to the other. I can tell you that realising this difference made me think very unlinearly about the composition of beings in general. I can also tell you that I’ve been drinking more tea since the epiphany.

Notice I said tea and not water on purpose, because the tap water is slowly becoming undrinkable. It started on other neighborhoods but now I finally feel it. I can plainly tell you the fact that it’s been subtly tasting like dirt with hints of mold, or I could tell you the story of how the city’s water treatment center got contaminated by gooey whatevers and other nasty things, except I can’t because I don’t know the story behind it or the names of the contaminants (here I can also simply state the fact that reading the news with attention is depressing, or I could tell you the story of how I got to the point of not feeling guilty about not knowing stuff anymore because oh well). All I know is that it feels wise to boil it and the tea covers it up nicely.

I could tell the story of why and how I found myself in the situation where I had no choice but to chose to taste it. Choice matters. Choosing this bad taste matter to write about was motivated by equal parts sadism, anger, pride, and hopelessness. The story itself does not matter anymore. The detailed telling of the story would matter only to show the reader that the narrator has structured reasons to trust her own judgement when it comes to self-preservation, but the descriptions in it would have the potential of unwinding all sorts of unpleasant sensations, so we’ll call it a night now.

***

‘Structured does not mean valid. Aren’t you the one always warning us about the chaos factor?’

‘I know, I know. You are so annoying.’