Where was this in me before I was born in your eyes?

You said you wanted to know ‘the questions’, what to ask yourself when you meditate. You mentioned the ‘what was your face like before you were born?’ kind of shit.

As if you had a face before you were born. As if you were you as you know it.

I think that’s stupid. I know that’s me judging, already wrong. And that’s me judging twice. So wrong. Thrice.

Shit.

The Samsara is all about the loops that make us suffer, essentially the ones our minds build.

The reason I think it is a little innocent of you to want to be given questions is that you are still trying to do things consciously with your mind instead of letting it be and go. You’re still tense, anxious, you want an activity. You’re still separating what’s outside of you (aka ‘The Right Questions’) from what’s in you, from what is you.

Give me a question to meditate on, you say. I say you don’t need it. The questions that matter to you will sprout up from your own mindful silence once you let it happen.

For example, the question that came out of my silence this morning was:

Why is it that whenever he pays me the slightest, tinyest bit of attention 
I automatically want to cry out of sheer joy?

My meditation goal right now is to silently and mindfully look at these feelings and pull on their little thread until I find the energy source you activate that moves me so much and then, you know what I’m gonna do?

Me neither.

That can be the next question.

See how it all works?