It’s an Exciting Time at My Company, I Guess

So this company offering to help me personalize user engagement is doing a pretty half-hearted job at this user engagement thing.

Hello there!
We just launched Pyze Growth Intelligence, a free service to let all app publishers grow their apps and personalize user engagement. Pyze can automatically engage active users and retain users who have stopped using your app.
Did some background research and it looks like it’s an exciting time at your company. Thought it made sense to say hello and see if we can help you. Sign up for Pyze Growth Intelligence for free.

“Hello there!” is what I say to people whose name I can’t remember. And if they really did do some background research and found something exciting going on at my unnamed company, I wish they’d tell me what it was. I’d like to be excited, too.

Instead of these pretend-to-be-personal emails, just once I’d rather see “This is a mass-emailed form letter.” There oughta be a law. Oh, wait, there is.

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