Safe Words to Avoid

Science tells us that we should spend much more time and effort picking our safe words — about 10 times more than picking a baby name. This makes perfect sense, yet Americans are struggling to meet even half that goal. Of course, unlike baby naming, safe word choosing is a personal and important decision.

While many choose common safe words like red, banana, stop, and fizzlestick, reports from Emergency Departments show that all of these words fail to avoid injury 100% of the time. Obviously, a unique safe word is the best and the best way to pick the right one is to know which words to avoid.

Steer clear of all umps. Dump. Rump. Mump. Stump. Trump. They’re no good.

For obvious reasons, avoid the flattering: Magnificent! Outstanding! Supreme! Perfection!

and the motivationals: Bravissimo! Achieve! Endure! Persist! Prolong!

You might be tempted to use one of the popular terms below, but they are also best rejected.

Soggy.

Spongelike.

Unrestrainable. Untrainable.

Mount.

Torsion.

Garrote.

Snuff. Sniff. Snoof.

Prostrate. Prostate.

Bung.

Splash.

Remorselessness.

Tuvalu.

Discharge.

Unredeviant.

If all these great words are bad, it may seem impossible to pick a decent safe word. It’s not, just keep trying. And if you get stuck, there is one weird trick that works for me and might work for you. I just use my first name and no sexual activity ever seems to materialize.

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