Dear Mr. Jones,

Let me just say that you will be hearing from my attorney as soon as he escapes from rehab.

And since you bring up Swim Fins and Football Hemets, I’ve been meaning to report that “that than which nothing greater can be deceived” in the October 2015 issue should read “It was the best of times, it was the wurst of times.” But since this pathetic magazine contains a typo in its name… and on every cover; it hardly seems worth the trouble.

Yours for an abbreviated tomorrow,

Ted Jones

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