A hunger satisfied by friendship

TJ Salvador
Sep 7, 2018 · 2 min read

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” — C.S. Lewis

I have become accustomed to being the person that is always there for my friends but I have never truly reconciled with the thought of fully relying on my friends. It may be because I remember every let down I experience and it wired my subconscious to become self-reliant in facing my problems.

I see myself as an expert in compartmentalization. I live my life in segments in such a way that my personal struggles do not mix with work, family, and friends. However, there is no perfect system and every so often there is a fluke. Ripples become waves and at times, I can no longer ride the waves. The waves become a tsunami that swallows whatever is on its path. It is difficult and exhausting to keep on picking myself up every time I stumble and every time compartmentalization stops working.

Lately, I feel like I am failing myself again. When the self-reliant can’t even rely on himself? What does he do?

I continue my days the way I do without questioning because I just keep on falling and climbing out of a dark place and I always manage to pull through somehow. But life is strange so much so that when you are not questioning, it gives you answers.

This week I was shown how simple gestures can shift one’s perspective. In what seemed to be a weird string of coincidences, three of my friends cooked food for me/us. While it may not meant to ease my problems, it did ease my anxieties and negative-thinking. Perhaps, it is okay to put my faith in others. It is time that I realize that I don’t need to face my demons alone. Help in all shapes and forms, whether it is asked or not, is worth embracing.

Thank you friends for feeding me. My hunger was satisfied by your friendship. My heart is full.

TJ Salvador

Written by

A rat going against the flow of the race.

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