You Perfect Little Liar

There are two types of people in this world: the liars and the not so successful liars. In order to be a liar, you have to master it. Live it, breathe it, worship it. It’s an art. A beauty in its own form. An accomplishment not many people have yet achieved and an accomplishment not many people can achieve. People have tried to grasp its meaning time and time again. Some failed. Others are rejoicing under its glory. And you? Well, you’re one of the very few who are about to enter into its bullshitting presence.

Being a liar is nothing to be ashamed about.
Everyone lies. Even lying about not lying is a lie in itself. Get rid of all the misconceptions. Be proud. It’s a wondrous thing— as long as you don’t get caught.

Lying is a way of life.
One of the first steps of lying is to understand that it always comes full circle. If you’re going to lie, you have to become the lie. Never get caught, never admit to it, and never remember the truth. The truth? What’s the truth. Everyone has their own interpretations of the truth.

Now, for those of you who get caught every so often. Here’s a trick from me to you. It works like a charm— especially when you’re placed in extremely sticky situations.

Take this simple situation for example.

“Hey… Did you tell Jamie that I used to like him?”

Pretend you did tell “Jamie” that your friend used to like him. What would you do?

Well, the simplest thing to do here is to revert the question back at them.

So it would go something like this:

Your friend: “Hey… Did you tell Jamie that I used to like him?”

Your response: “Do you THINK I told Jamie that you used to him?”
(Word of advice: Scoff. Act offended. Look extremely hurt.)

In most cases (if you play the offended friend part right) then you’re off the hook. If that doesn’t work however…

Your friend: “Hey… Did you tell Jamie that I used to like him?”

Your response: “Do you THINK I told Jamie that you used to him?”

Your friend: “Well, that’s what he told me!”

Your response: “Wow. So you think I told Jamie…”
(Insert a tear or two here, a tear or two there.)

And voila. There’s your happy ending. You’re off the hook.
And would you look at that— you got away with a lie without really having to lie. It’s a cheat sheet. A way to go around the situation without really confronting the problem at hand.

Beautiful, ain’t it? Lying is an art, so be sure to make it your own.
Create your own, and give it its own flair.

Now, what are your tips?

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