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FAMILY

On honouring my mother with my inability

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From Death to Stock

I’m nearly 30 and I still can’t swim.

I have faint childhood memories of my mum dropping us off at the local pool without any instruction. Maybe she thought if we spent enough time in the water on our own, we would eventually become mermaids. This hypothesis later proved incorrect: by the time each of us entered high school, a family doctor wrote us notes excusing us from taking the swimming efficiency test — a graduation requirement — stating we were allergic to chlorine.

Aside from some vacation photos to prove that we were in Hawaii, I can’t remember a time where we visited the beach as a family despite the fact that we lived next to one. As I got older, I learned that my name, Thuy, means water. I thought that was ironic too. …


MENTAL HEALTH

Why I secretly don’t want the pandemic to end

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From Death to Stock

Now here’s something I don’t like to admit: I’ve been feeling guiltily content during this time of turmoil. To be clear, I’m not happy about feeling like we’re easing into a thickening plot of a dystopian novel, one created by the writers of Black Mirror where an invisible monster is restricting our freedom. I’m not happy about training myself to push crosswalk buttons with my elbows, constantly reminding myself to respect a two meter bubble around others, and introducing COVID-19 buzzwords like “asymptomatic,” “flatten the curve,” or “herd immunity” into my vocabulary.

And I’m definitely not happy about starting every morning frantically scrolling through the news — my own personal graph of observing exponential graphs growing exponentially similar to said graphs — or hearing about the loss of those around us. But ironically at this time of unknown, unease, and uncertainty, I ashamedly feel the happiest I’ve been in a very long time when I look outside and witness the subsequent stillness of it all. …


MENTAL HEALTH

Why my generalised anxiety disorder is both a blessing and a misfortune.

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From Death to Stock

That’s the hardest thing about having generalised anxiety disorder. Accepting that I’m forever condemned to doubting, and never to knowing.

I know as human beings, we can all be doubtful. But this anxiety rides on a different frequency. It’s a crippling kind of anxiety. …

About

Tee Tran

My therapist told me to start writing, so I did.

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