Let’s Catch Up

Hey everyone,

Most of you, if not all know I’m in a relationship with Harry (PewGeminiLive). We have been together for nearly a year (in June). Out of those 11 months of our relationship, we have been together, in person, for about 5 months. The first time I went to England was back in September and that was to see if we, as a couple, could actually be together and work things out. You can get along swimmingly with someone you've met online, but you never know what could happen if you meet in person. As you already know, things went great since we are still together. In fact, it went so well that we decided I should come to England again, so I went in the beginning of December and was there until April 15th. So I have to be exactly 4,661 miles away while I wait until either I can enter the UK again or Harry can make his way here, so we get to keep up our relationship by talking on Skype and sending messages when we can if we’re streaming or out or whatever. Obviously, this sucks.

I’m not going to lie to you guys, not having Harry here is really hard. We are both people who take our relationship very important. While we absolutely love our jobs as streamers and really enjoy the time we spend on Twitch, whether it be streaming or chatting or hanging our with other casters and viewers, at the end of the day we’d rather be able to be together. And this is something we are working on and hopefully is a goal that is obtainable in the near future.

Now, visas are the real problem. If you follow Harry or have been in my channel while I've talked about it, then you already kinda know what’s going down, but let me put this out in writing so that people who haven’t seen it can understand. Through Non-Immigrant Visas, Harry and I can visit each other, granted we have all the information proving that we won’t try to stay in the country illegally. The first time I came to England was easy. I had some information and I got through just fine. The second time, however, I was pulled aside and made to wait at the border, while immigration went through 60 pages of information that I brought to prove that I wouldn't overstay my welcome. I, on a non-immigrant visa, can visit the UK for up to 6 months in a 1 year period time. Harry, on a non-immigrant visa, can visit the USA for 3 months and possibly get a visa extension for an additional 3 months. So he could possibly stay for 6 months of 1 year. That’s depending on if he can actually get in since the American border is a lot tougher of people coming over to visit.

While non-immigrant visas are a temporary solution to be able to see each other throughout the year, it’s expensive and not ideal at all. Harry and I would like to be able to live together permanently, but it is hard. Before talking about this, I do want to say that this is something that Harry and I have both talked about a lot and we are more than happy to go this route.

Now, let’s talk marriage visas.

While we would love to settle in the UK, it is difficult to get a marriage visa. According to immigration laws, Harry must earn £18,600 ($28,723) a year to bring over a foreign spouse. Otherwise, he would have to have a considerable amount of savings to prove that he can support himself and said spouse, which can be £50,000 ($77,212) give or take some depending on his current earnings. I can in no way help him to achieve this goal. However, in the USA, it is different. Both Harry and I can combine our earnings and we must make above the poverty line, which is $20,000 ( £12,951) a year. This is, of course, if the spouse coming over can keep his job when coming to the USA. This is why it is vital, for Harry especially, to be able to make streaming his job. He can keep that job and come over and continue to earn through streaming.

Now, I know you may be thinking, “Well Eryn, go get yourself a job and you can bring him over sooner!” While that is true, it’s a little harder than that. If I did get a job, I’d either have to quit streaming or go extremely part-time. I love my stream and I love you guys. I’m not quite ready to give that up because I honestly do feel like our community is growing and we are slowly, but surely, getting to the point where this is becoming my job. It’s amazing the support I've been getting and I am so happy for anyone who does come in and sub or donate or give the my Patreon. I will say that in the end, the most important sources of income are my subs and Patrons. This is a more steady source of income and definitely will look a lot better when Harry and I actually apply for a marriage visa. While donations are fantastic, they are not a guaranteed source of income that I can present to immigration. We can say we earn an estimated amount of donations, but again, we can’t guarantee it.

In addition to trying to get Harry over to me, there are a number of things that I will definitely have to pay for in the near future. When I came back from England, my car decided it doesn't want to work any more. There’s some electrical problems with it and the teeth for the starter have worn down so they won’t catch any more. To fix it, it would cost $700 or more. I’m waiting a little bit because the mechanic and my Grandpa are looking at it a little further to find out what the electrical problems are. Once they are done, I plan on selling my car to supplement buying a new car. Unfortunately, I do need a car because where I live to get around to places and if I did pick up a job, I need a car to get to the job. In addition to that, when I move, that’s my transportation and “moving truck.”

Once I get a car, I do plan on looking around for an apartment. As of right now, I’m with my grandma. It’s fantastic living here because she is supportive and allows me to live here at no cost, but living with people is starting to drive me crazy. As some background, I moved from Virginia to Idaho to attend university back in 2010. I went home twice to stay with my family, both in 2011 for a total of about 5 months. After that I lived on my own until a breakup where my ex got the house we were living in. In the past year, I've lived in 6 different places, all with family and friends. I have realized in this past year that I am someone who really needs to have their own place. Harry and I would love to live in Seattle, Washington, but honestly I don’t see that happening because it is more expensive. My options right now are looking into renting a place with my brother in Utah or moving up north, closer to my mom, and getting an apartment there. At the end of the day, having an apartment will also help to show immigration that we can live on our own just fine.

The last major thing that money has to go towards is a new PC. My CPU isn't doing too great right now and it can’t handle newer games while streaming. Fortunately, Harry is going to send me his old PC and that will put off buying a new one for a little while as I can spread the load out with streaming and game play. It’s kind of a band-aid solution, but a solution nonetheless. I will probably have to get a better computer eventually and I've got the build planned. Just a matter of saving up for it.

Now, if you've read this far, I do commend you for that and I can’t express how much I appreciate it. I've got a little more to go. The next part is a emotional and hard and I don’t blame you if you skip it, especially if you or someone you love has cancer. I just really need to write things out. Just look for the bolded tl;dr that says it’s over.

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Late Spring/Summer-time is a hard time for me. Just to explain everything, in May of 2012, I was living in Idaho, doing the whole work thing, saving money for my next semester of university, which I never did go back to for a number of reasons that aren't really important to this. My family was still back in Virginia, going on about their lives. My Dad got really sick though. We were hoping it was pancreatitis, but it turned out he had Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer. I went out in August to visit my family since I hadn't seen them in a year and we really didn't know how long Dad had.

By November, my dad had been in and out of the hospital for chemotherapy and various other problems he was having due to the cancer. His tumors were slowly spreading to other organs and my parents decided that if Dad was going to go, they wanted to be close to both his and Mom’s family so that he could spend time with everyone and so that Mom and my siblings had support when they needed it. So they moved here to Idaho (Yes, my family is originally from Idaho).

I took as much time as I could off work to spend with Dad, but you could definitely see that he wasn't doing well. If he had to go to the hospital for any reason, I would drive down and help take care of my sisters. It seemed things were doing alright for the terrible situation we were in. By May of 2013, it was awesome to see Dad had fought the cancer for a year (a lot of pancreatic cancer patients don’t live very long because they can really only catch it when it’s stage IV). It was cause for celebration, both for him surviving a year of cancer and being his birthday.

But the two months after that were not good. Dad was in and out of the hospital all the time. I can vividly remember going to visit him the last time he was in the hospital on July 4th. We were told that with the rate that his cancer was spreading, it would probably spread to his liver soon and once that happened, he would probably pass away. I sat in the room trying to talk to Dad while he was hallucinating from the drugs and the cancer.

After Dad was released, it was decided that if he didn't have much time, it would be much better to get hospice to come and help him because no one wants to die in a hospital. I tried to be there every day so that I could spend time with him and be there when he passed away.

We honestly thought he was going to go on July 7th, so we called any family in town, luckily most everyone was there for the 4th of July celebration. Everyone came and talked to Dad, as much as he could handle and we just waited. I spent the night there, but in the morning he was okay. I didn't see him much that day because he was sleeping mostly and when he was awake, it was so hospice could help him do things. That night, I decided to go home since I didn't have any clothes there. I told Mom I’d be back the next day. In the morning of July 9th, 2013, I was woken up with a phone call from Mom saying he has just passed away.

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****TL;DR****

One of the hardest things for me is that I wasn't there when he passed away when I was doing my best to be there as much as I could. I wasn't expecting to lose my Dad at such a young age and I still continue to struggle with that. Most days are fine and I continue on with my life, but the summer-time is so hard being his birthday and the day he passed away. I really do miss Dad and I try not to let it effect me and what I do, but there are times I just can’t help it.

I’m not telling you all this for anyone’s pity. I want to let you guys know why there are times I can’t pull myself together for a stream. I want you guys to know that sometimes I may not be able to stream for very long. You guys are my online family and I love anyone who comes into the community, so I want to be able to be open with you guys as to what’s going on with my life. And I want you guys to know that if you’re going through a hard time, I may be able to relate and I’m here for you. The stream, the chat, the community is open to anyone who just wants to get away from it all. And I want to let you guys know if there seems to be something off or if I can’t quite bring myself to stream, this explains everything as to why I am struggling.

You all have been absolutely amazing and so supportive. Whether you’re from my stream or Harry’s stream, and you've given any kind words, lurked in streams, chatted, supported the stream, raided, hosted, donated, or subbed, if you've done absolutely anything to support either Harry or I, monetary or not, I appreciate it. Thank you so much for any support you’ve given. I absolutely appreciate everything and I love you all so much.

I want to let you know I am trying my very best to keep everything together and trying to be happier. Things will be a bit easier when I can get Harry to me because along with you all, he is my rock and my support. I will continue to stream and continue to try and grow our community and improve on everything I can.

Thank you so much for reading this, I know it is lengthy. I love you guys and I am so thankful for my amazing Twitch family.

— Eryn