I never try my hardest to create
Creative motivation is a very fragile concept to me. I’m always wanting to complete an unfinished song, but that doesn’t dictate how motivated I’ll be to develop new ideas within the project and make progress as a byproduct of efficient work flow.
As seemingly fleeting as motivation can be it simultaneously lies abundant in a myriad of potential inspirational paths. I’m aware of the steps I can take to find these paths but often times my mind values other activities, seemingly based on how much enjoyment I will get out them against the amount of effort I have to exert.
It’s possible I have confirmation bias toward these periods where I feel unmotivated. It’s very obvious to one’s self when one is being unproductive and from there it’s quite easy to pass negative judgement and feel guilt for choosing other activities.
Ultimately I’m the one responsible for filling these conceptual productivity quotas. I created them.