El-Roi is one of my favourite names of God because it feels so personal. The first time it occurred to me that God 'saw' His people was in 2020 while watching an episode of The Chosen. Jesus was speaking to Eden, Peter’s wife and he said something along the lines “...but I see you”. It felt very personal. I just couldn’t forget.
I had one of such experiences in October 2022. It was one of those days nothing made sense, especially concerning what I wanted to do with my life. I was confused and lost.
Because people say crying is therapeutic, I planned a “therapeutic crying session” in my room after close of work that day. I just wanted to cry my eyes out.
I got in the car with my Uncle and we made our way home. What I thought would be a silent ride was interrupted by his question.
“So what do you want to do after now?"
That was the opening I needed. We went on to have a really good conversation about my career and what I wanted. The most beautiful part was that he then went ahead to pray for me. I was blown.
The tears I had saved for my room came without permission. But they were for a different reason. I felt seen. That the King of Heaven cared enough to assure me that I would not misstep. What a big deal I am.
It reminds me of John 1:48 where Jesus tells Nathaniel:
Before that Philip called thee, when thou wast under the fig tree, I saw thee.
Right under that fig tree where you feel lost, broken and forgotten, God sees you. Knowing this is has helped my relationship with Him. You are not alone. You are helped. You are held.
-Lolade Abidemi
