Not so unusual, I am writing this late but I don’t want it to be a new year resolution. It’s more like a year-in-review, I reckon. The goal is store these in the 'air’, and also to speak in general to others about their own year.
What a year! It was quite difficult and painful, significant parts of it. In the first few months, I had to complete a class and there was a combination of bad luck that gave undesired results. I gave so much to everything, anything and people but received nearly nothing else so I’m very exhausted. Most of us have been there and understand exactly what this means so it’s not a self-righteous, entitled statement. It is why do all these keep happening to me, to us.
I’d be wrong if I don’t mention these other things (otherwise known as highlights of the year):
Ps: there’s no ranking
- I wrote 9 blogs (plus this one and five variety of essays somewhere else)
- I almost had $18000. It’s a long, complex story and I’ll tell it someday or maybe not (wink!)
- A beloved teacher and friend gave me thoughtful gifts for my birthday. This was nice seeing that I rarely get kindness, not even random.
- I did a summer job, first job anything. I had to interact with a lovely high-schooler and it was a learning experience and recollection of my time during that age (it seems like ages have passed since then).
- I got on social media. Well, I am/can be a very slow person and this was finally the time for me (I should mention that I just discovered that few of my loved songs were by Dunsin Oyekan and I just learned that name and he’s such a big and wonderful gospel minister). Don’t judge me. I have to say, however, that I have learned and discovered tons of things from social media.
Further, there are other things I find noteworthy to mention, that really stood out for me this year.
First, my relationship with money is best described as bizarre. There were times the lack of it was so striking it felt like 'towards the end’. Other times, it was manageable so mental note to start thinking about figuring out how to have a stable source/supply of money.
Second, I’m grateful for the gift of reading. I read remarkable books and essays (which I’m thinking to make a blog post about titled “Top reads 2023| essays") a d even more grateful that they all have ignited something in me: to act, to do, to date. In addition, I watched some remarkable videos (thinking “Top Watch|2023").
Moreso, the gift of introspection and growth was so immense that in all the deep, dark trenches, there was something to learn, to think on, to let go, to just stop.
2023 was the year where that little voice would often speak, that vision replaced and somehow my worry and anxiety would eventually be sorted, most times. Sometimes, you just have to let go. The more you look, the less you see: people can be cunning, selfish, life’s hard, unequal and yes, there’s another side of the story.
2024.
I did say no new year resolutions so if you think these are resolutions, you’re wrong. For the year, I’d be adopting this famous quote:
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”
and written elsewhere this not-so-famous essay by Tobi Lufadeju
as overarching. This is to say my main goals for the year are to explore and practise various aspects of my creativity; learn new skills; deeply comprehend assignments mandatory and written 'everywhere else' and last but not least to accept and live like my own ‘self’.
Here are the pointers:
- To live authentically like how I was at some point while this may sound counterintuitive seeing that it’s important to 'grow' as you get older except that I’d add that not only is it an attempt to live like that in some way, there would be several changes. I’m not simply going to that wiry teenager. I’m raising several parts of her. You think, are you living authentically?
- Writing long-form essays on a variety of topics but majorly on multi-faceted Nigeria and to get published.
- To seek and find God more and allow Him.
- Learn this and that (I want to be vague here).
- Invest in getting tools and needs.
- Other miscellaneous, albeit important things: actually listen to music, be more organized, take important breaks, maybe get a piercing (no thanks to Naomi for telling me that sad story about piercings gone wrong).
I want it to be the year where I am less anxious and more confident, hoping that I’m divinely guided. I want to laugh frequently, marvel helplessly and soar. Experiment. Do the work. I am grateful for a few people that reached out those times. God bless you.
There are numerous things I wrote that didn’t make it here but that was the plan. This one with its numerous arches and brackets is enough to pass the message. I hope it inspires you to think about your own year and learn some lessons.
Cheers to a great year already!
I hope you keep reading me. New story(ies) monthly really. It would be exciting here.
As the year wraps up, how is it nice that Liverpool is now at the top of the League table. Liverpool fans! That was a chide.
Maybe, I’ll make this a tradition, if I don’t cringe at the end of the day, year. Haha!